Saturday, December 22, 2007

Fine Izzy, I'm blogging.

Ching! Stop it nehneh!

Aww thanks Lyla dear :)

I'm in a rather pensive mood actually now.
The kind of person I am is, somebody who likes to escape. I like running away, and I like to avoid, be it things, people or circumstances.

People say this isn't a good thing. Why don't I face whatever it is that I'm running away from? Why don't I resolve, or confront?

One, I hate confrontations. Two, I believe in karma.

So don't tell me to stop running away. I'm standing right here, it's just a matter of me looking away. No matter how much I want to escape, sometimes you can never get around to doing the things you like, or want to.

Isn't it amazing how fast time flies? It just whizzes by you, doesn't it?

Eight more days, and it's a brand new year.

I vowed to myself to stop it with the sleeping in. I've been sleeping late and waking up late. This is unhealthy. And think of the time I've wasted sleeping. And it's not even restful sleep, it's more like the lazybum kind of sleep, the kind where you just don't want to physically get out of the bed, so you just sleep the morning away.

I don't really want to talk about what has been going on in my life, because I'm still trying to figure things out.


I met Shikin just now, so I'm happy. Even though it was for a short while. I miss our days out babe. Nyeh. Fuck all the plastic people, you got me! Double nyeh.

I've been working hard. So what's new. I am a workaholic, I confess I feel weird when I don't work. I don't see how people can just bum around at home (I think I've said this a million times haha), seriously! I think if you make me stay at home the whole day and do nothing, I will explode. I think the last time I stayed at home was when I injured my toe (yes, when that Daily Offerings Board fell on it). And that was ages ago okay.

I think school starts earlier than I think.

I think I think way too damn much larh!

Met my beloved cousin Atieq just now. I realised how much I miss her, because I haven't seen her in ages. She's the only cousin who knows what's going on in my life. Nice to see she got herself a good-looking, English-speaking boy. Hahas.

I've got The Kooks in my head and a dry feeling in my throat.
My hands are itching to continue drawing.

I scraped my leg and I didn't even know it. Well done Syafiqin.

Okay I'm off. Morning.

@ 9:33 AM

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sorry for the long absence. I've been rather busy. Nyeh.

In instances like this, where too many things have happened in too long a period of time, I usually am far too lazy to blog.


Ah DAMN YOU LAH. I'm talking to my laptop now. Wow.

It's bloody lagging.

Pantat larh.

Today was nice.

And the list gets longer.

@ 8:35 AM

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I LOVE YOU SHIKIN. Yes, more than neng can ever love you. HAHAH

No matter what happens babe, I'll always be here for you okay? Okay.

Izzy, YELAH YELAH. Credits to Izzy dear for my new name.

Hmm. The future looks bleak. But I hope, as a family, we can pull through unscathed, weed out the bad seeds, and take good care of ourselves.

I was in the MRT going home, minding my own business, when a matrip rudely told me his friend wants my number. In front of the whole carriage.

I'm like, excuse me?

Firstly, you're a matrip. That should say it all. You are rude, uncouth, fugly and stupid.

Secondly, if you really want my number, why the heck does your friend have to ask for you, when you're sitting right next to him? I mean, it shouldn't take much effort to just blurt out a sentence to a random girl opposite you, especially when you're a matrip and you were naturally born without shame and a loud mouth, right?

Thirdly, you have ugly friends, two of whom look like they are pissed drunk, one of whom is a minahrip who doesn't even know what MRT line to take to get to Sengkang and keeps staring at me like I murdered her mother, and all of whom look like they belong to different species of scum. Definitely not the kind of people I want to be acquainted with.

Fourthly, you're a matrip.

Fifthly, you're a matrip.

Sixthly, you're a freaking matrip! Get the fuck away from me!

Anyhoo, I am tired and my shoulder's aching.

@ 9:40 AM

Monday, December 10, 2007

Here is a list of people/things that irritate me:

1) People who show no consideration or sensitivity to others.

Whoever you mofos are, be it the auntie who pushes and shoves in the MRT, the moron with an umbrella who insists on walking in the middle of the pavement thus letting all the umbrella-less people get drenched because your umbrellas are so damn BIG, whoever you are lah eh.

2) Greed.

3) People who act like they're good friends with you. And then blast you behind your back. Thanks.

4) People who come to work with shit attitude.

5) Bad English.

I mean, Singlish, I can stand. Tourist English, I can stand.
I'm talking about really bad, atrocious, crippling English. It's okay if you can't really converse fluently in English, but to try so hard to impress me with an "extensive" vocabulary while knowing nuts about basic sentence structure, punctuation and spelling?

Nice try, but you can try harder.

6) The rain.

Depressing and does nothing for business.

I just want this tiredness to go away.

@ 9:20 AM

Monday, December 03, 2007



@ 9:36 AM

Saturday, December 01, 2007

I just got home, and I can't sleep.

Yeah. And just now I was fucking lethargic. Now I feel so damn restless. Pantat.
I think right, my heart's telling me to start drawing again. I remember when I threw myself into it, drawing at every single moment I can. In class, at home, doing homework, in the MRT, on tables, on chairs, on walls, wherever. Now? I draw one thing, and I get tired. The fervousness (fervosity?) is gone. But methinks it is coming back! Which is great!


I miss the Tasty Bunch. Sarah. Atiqah. Han. Shahidah. I miss you guys! Like, so fucking much!

I know work and school have pretty much monopolized my life, and I have little or no time to do other things. And I have neglected my besties :(

You guys made life in Anderson worthwhile. I remember Sarah was the first ever friend I made. She made Maths lessons with Su Tee (actually, every lesson lah eh) a riot, with us talking bloody nonsense and irritating the hell out of him (remember the umbrella incident?). Han and her face mutations that never fail to make me laugh my ass off. Going over to Sarah's for movie marathons and cooking sessions. Atiqah's place for Burnout Revenge and free food.

I miss all that.

Remember the incident with Ain? You guys were there for me, and that really meant a lot. It still does.

Back then(cheh) when I was still boyfriend-dependant, you guys made the breakups feel half as bad. Like they say, boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever.


Can't wait for Xmas shopping.

Yeah, the feeling of wanting, or needing a boyfriend, has died long ago. I'm sorry, but I find it hard to invest(yeah, invest) my feelings in somebody of the opposite sex now. No, I'm not turning gay, even though I love girls, but I love girls in a straight kinda way you know?

Mmm. Anyway.

After what happened with Hanif, I guess this is how I am now. He hurt me like nobody has ever done before, and by doing that, changing a major part of myself. It's not that I'm afraid that I will get hurt again, or whatever kind of pussy nonsense people say when they get dumped, cheated on or whatever. Of course, shortly after the incident, I did feel fucked-up, like Fuck all men, they're all jerks and assholes and fucktards.

Don't worry, I'm fine now. It's just that I know I can find happiness outside of a guy's arms, in the company of friends, in work and in art. I do have baggage, but it's all zipped up and kept away now.

I mean, honestly, even I myself am weirded out by my behaviour sometimes. I try to find that part of me, that part that wants to be one half of a couple, that part that wants a hand to hold, that wants a nice boy to rely on, but I can't find it! I'm serious!

Oh wells.

Imah asked me, "Fiq, are you happy being single?"

I said, "Honestly, I don't know. But I am happy enough I guess."

Then I thought for a few more seconds.

"Actually I am happy. Yeah. I am."

Hahah. Says it all, no?

Good morning people. Cheers.

@ 8:54 AM

Sorry for the long hiatus! Sorry many many.

I lovelovelove the kiosk. It's pretty.

Closing yesterday knocked me out till one in the afternoon today. I woke up to Shikin's call (HMM now how often does that happen?? hahaha) and I went Somerset to watch ThreeWayStreet's last performance. People were painting dustbins! I wasn't in a mood to paint so I didn't. If not I would have. Haha.

Counting the days to payday. I'm so fucking broke it's not even funny. I have to control my spending habits. NO, more like, spending vice.

Then I can buy Xmas presents! It's going to be a big Xmas, with OK and OF combined. So sexciting.

Okay. I don't know what to blog about anymore.

Cheers people.

@ 2:46 AM


Okay, so I'm this girl right.

Who had big plans to change the world.
When I was young, I wanted to be either a zoologist, veterinarian or pilot.
I wanted to travel and help eradicate poverty.

And then when this girl grows up, she's all like, fack that!
She becomes guilty of things she never thought she'd have done.
She meets people of all shapes and sizes, some beautiful, some downright fugly.
Both inside and outside.
She becomes acquainted with some things called failure and commitment.
She realises love is as elusive as, perhaps, weight loss.

I let my inner demon out through my art.



green eyes on hot guys, red and purple shoes, pepper and cream puffs, lincoln park at midnight
sitting on carpark roofs talking nonsense, meaningful silences, chewy cookie bits in vanilla ice cream
chocolate icing, shopping till my legs give out, smiling at random people, thinking about stuff



panadol or whatever pills for that matter, retarded nails, losing my voice, being broke
bananas, my thighs and big ass, man boobs, seeing something i really like but discovering that it costs a bomb


levi's jeans, pimple cream, fake lashes, hair dye, a bigger paycheque, M&Ms
new specs, and possibly a hotass guy to sweep me off my feet



{} shikin
{} atiqah
{} sarah
{} syafs
{} azura
{} ilyana
{} nurul
{} syaf
{} jocelyn
{} laila
{} aiman
{} SBOFpirates!
{} friend
{} friend

designer : kathleen
image : jde

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