Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Fasting has done nothing for my pursuit of weight loss. Okay, maybe a little bit lah. But that's not the whole point of fasting right. Today shall be the first day that I break fast with my family. I haven't been at home because of work (closing for three consecutive nights seriously messes you up) and work, and more work. Oh wells.

It's nice breaking fast at work, as one big OF family.

I must not forget the family that I already have though. I remember when we used to have dinner together as a family practically every night. That was normal dinner. Breaking fast at home was an absolute must, I was only allowed the two or three times I broke fast outside with friends.

Family outings were not uncommon. We used to go for breakfast every Sunday, then go bowling at Bukit Panjang Plaza before visiting my maternal grandfather. When my late grandma was still around, we would have breakfast/lunch/dinner at their place (one of the ancient blocks at Hillview, they're all gone now and replaced with green fields, I think they're building a condo on it or something) and basically spend the whole day there.

Sometimes we'd go to Pasir Ris Park for picnics, or cycling. I remember when my Dad first taught me how to cycle, I banged into a lamp post. Haha. Then I lay groaning on the ground, refusing to get up. Paiseh already mah. Then he would buy all of us ice-cream from those vans in the carpark, and we'd sit on the pavement in a row and eat. That was a long time ago.

An even longer time ago, I remember we used to go kite-flying. I was just a small kid back then. I only remember we were at this huge open field with a big drain next to it. I also remember when Disney came to Singapore and they had this huger than huge tent set up, and when you went in, you forget that you're actually in a big open field in Singapore. There was a stage with seats on the ground, and Mickey and whoever else were prancing around on stage. My mum bought me a pretzel, I got to hug Mickey, then the kids went wild at this huge playground with feature rides and whatnot. I still remember this very vividly actually.

Chalets were a must every year. This was when the whole family from my Dad's side would come together and rent a big chalet and do chalet stuff. My mum would organise games, the Dads would sit around, BBQ and eat. The kids would be running around and screaming. Yeah.

Now? I'm never home (I do realise that this is a problem, but I can't help it), I have no idea what my family's schedules are, I don't really know what's going on in my brothers' lives (except that one is taking his PSLE this year), I haven't had a nice chat with my mother in so long, I somehow feel vaguely disjointed from the family.

It doesn't help that school and work take up most of my time, and I'm not the type to sit at home because I'll feel extremely restless (like I.MUST.GO.OUT) and irritable. Even when I'm home, I'm usually caught up with schoolwork.

Soon, my brothers will grow up and turn out exactly like me. Actually I don't know if they'll turn out like me. Lols. What I do know is that they will be able to take care of themselves, like I'm taking care of myself now, because we were all brought up to be independant and self-reliant. My 9-year-old brother is schooling in Aljunied, which is miles away from home, and even though he takes transport to and fro, there will be a time when he has to travel on his own.

The twelve-year-old is doing fine on his own, going to school and coming back safe and sound all by himself. He is intelligent, and might be the one to surpass his sister academically. Come on, straight As for tests. Like, what the hell. If he beats my PSLE aggregate, I will be SO DAMN proud of him ah! Then he can finally step out of his siblings' shadows, being the middle child and often the misfit.

The fourteen-year-old (who looks like he's eighteen bloody hell) is grappling with school, teenager issues blah blah. Normal. I'm just glad he's not mixing with bad company. If he is I will smack his head. He's the one I'm closest to, because we can more or less relate to each other. That said, of course there are things we don't tell each other. I'm just glad he knows how to respect me as his elder sister.

One thing I'm happy about is I rarely have arguments with my brothers now. There used to be screaming matches, things thrown at each other, that kind of thing, but it's all ceased to happen. They still raid my room, but not as badly as before, and sometimes they still annoy me.



Now why did I blog about this again. Oh yah.

Yesterday I did closing with Fad and Izzy. Fad was telling us that his mum was pressuring him to 'settle down' and he's getting all stressed up because he's happy the way he is now. Poor guy. Then we started talking about our families. HAHAHA what a thing to be talking about with, of all people, Fad and Izzy.

Me, Izzy and Wan from LT were left stranded at United Square waiting for the North van. Took so damn bloody long. We were sitting on the pavement with a group of drunk Indian men across the road from us and the 7-11 guys hollering " EH! Tak balik kepe? " at us. Oh wells.

Izzy asked me a question I couldn't answer. " So why are you still not attached? " " ... uh.. " Got me thinking though.

Today I woke up at 2 freaking pm. My sleeping pattern is seriously effed up right now.

I guess that's it for today. Cheers.



Oh darling, you're a million ways to be cruel.