Sunday, January 21, 2007

Okay. I am in a very fragile emotional state right now. Not because it's that time of the month, or because I'm pregnant, but because I am now single.

Yeah, you read it right. I'm single and starkly boyfriend-less. After 9 months of being cocooned in the safety and security of having a boyfriend, I'm let out. And it's solely my choice.

I guess some things just cannot be worked out. I knew from the start, the sheer differences between us could drive us apart someday. My free swinging lifestyle clashed with his need for stability and comfort. My impatience clashed with his temper. My tendency to put friends first disappointed him, and I simply couldn't care less.

I was planning to go clubbing when I turned 18, and he was bent on not letting me go. I wanted a wild and frenzied social life, and he was keeping tabs on any male friend who dared sms or call me. I love people, male, female or gay, but he has his preferences.

I admit I neglected him. I was sick of all the suffocation. To me it was suffocation, but to him, he just wanted to show that he cared, and that was the only way he knew how to.

So I couldn't take it anymore.

The 9 months wasn't all that bad though. He helped me master pool.

On a deeper note, we both came out better people. I learnt sometimes, life isn't about throwing away all the bad things and only focussing on the good. I have to face what's bad, and work it out. I can't run away from responsibility all the time. He also taught me to treasure the people in my life more, because you never know when they might go (choy!).

I helped him control his temper (which at worst, could rip off all your limbs at a single glare) and love the people most important to him, which right now, is family. I'm proud of him. We went through N and O levels together, and it just meant so much.

If I type anymore, I'll cry. So I will stop here and move on.

Saturday night/ Sunday morning marked a huge milestone in my life. I have a feeling 2007 will be a very fun year (ahem)...

@ 7:51 PM

SYAF I AM

Okay, so I'm this girl right.

Who had big plans to change the world.
When I was young, I wanted to be either a zoologist, veterinarian or pilot.
I wanted to travel and help eradicate poverty.

And then when this girl grows up, she's all like, fack that!
She becomes guilty of things she never thought she'd have done.
She meets people of all shapes and sizes, some beautiful, some downright fugly.
Both inside and outside.
She becomes acquainted with some things called failure and commitment.
She realises love is as elusive as, perhaps, weight loss.

I let my inner demon out through my art.
Enjoy.

Y

SYAF LOVES

green eyes on hot guys, red and purple shoes, pepper and cream puffs, lincoln park at midnight
sitting on carpark roofs talking nonsense, meaningful silences, chewy cookie bits in vanilla ice cream
chocolate icing, shopping till my legs give out, smiling at random people, thinking about stuff

N

SYAF HATES

panadol or whatever pills for that matter, retarded nails, losing my voice, being broke
bananas, my thighs and big ass, man boobs, seeing something i really like but discovering that it costs a bomb


SYAF WANTS

levi's jeans, pimple cream, fake lashes, hair dye, a bigger paycheque, M&Ms
new specs, and possibly a hotass guy to sweep me off my feet

YOU SAY


THERE YOU GO.

{♥} shikin
{♥} atiqah
{♥} sarah
{♥} syafs
{♥} azura
{♥} ilyana
{♥} nurul
{♥} syaf
{♥} jocelyn
{♥} laila
{♥} aiman
{♥} SBOFpirates!
{♥} friend
{♥} friend

designer : kathleen
image : jde

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