cut by candy, the deceptive kind.

2008-07-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'VE MOVED.

http://www.doodlera.livejournal.com

2008-07-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

August, the bittersweet one.

Explosions lighting up the sky, and distant, oh so distant memories. Isn't it amazing how time flies. Things fall apart only for better things to fall in place. Much more better. Sometimes we don't realise that, and we waste time dwelling on the past.

It doesn't matter if I met you a year earlier or not. What we go through, is what makes us.
I am very much in love too.

***

So many things happened in such a short period of time. Disillusionment is never one of my favourite feelings. I just have to deal with it like a slap to the face.

Goodnight to you.

2008-06-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

Pink skies.

Pretty right the cake. And sedap nak mampos.

THE BIG BOSS. Now the big ex-boss.

Bowling with minus one of The Tasty Bunch.

AWWWW.

Machiam GQ model.
How can people not like cats you tell me!!!
Sunsets are another thing altogether.

I am a happy girl after eating Popeye's.

View from the other side.

I know I know, you want to slap us.

We love the camera, yes we do!

Ali : Please donate, we need your money!

TLS in action at Something Good. It was freaking hot luh.

Ada tokoh menjadi manusia batang.

Mizee, always the entertainer. Now he needs a loudhailer.

Sunrise, sunrise. It ain't everyday I get to see this.

We love shisha, yes we do.

Monkeys On A Train coming to movie theatres near you soon.
Syaf and Mon look like they know something Wan and Nurul don't. HAHA.

*****

It's okay love. Everything's alright. Material things can always be replaced.

2008-06-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

I don't want to blog about my love life all the time.

But I'm thankful I even have one in the first place. A proper one, not those fly-by-night, good-for-nothing things. To think that five months ago, I was wavering on turning lesbian or remaining single for at least a year or two.

Okay I'm kidding on the lesbian part.

I love you Mizee.

2008-06-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's BBQ was a blast. It was nice to see everybody all gathered together.
Neng, Dean and Fadzil tending the pit together. Nostalgia, anyone?

I wanted to stay, but I was half-dead by 3am and I had a massive headache. Blame it on the period. So five of us squeezed in Iskandar's car and off we went.

Okay, I've made up my mind. Motorbike license, here I come.

Wanton mee in the morning is bad for my stomach. I'm gona go release. Yeap. Melepas, orang cakap. Release ah. K bye!

PS. I love Mizee.

2008-06-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, Januarisman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6RZ3BfP_JE

***

Hehe. Don't worry Mizee, you're still my number one.

GUYS GUYS,
I went to school today! And it was actually remotely fun. See, school isn't so bad.

2008-06-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

I'm having a headache. Headache from having too much to do in too little time. I managed to rush through my Creative Storytelling assignment (50 percent!!!), now I'm trying to get my gears running for Prepress.

These are the times I wish I could take your hand and run away. I wish I could lie down on an endless field and watch the clouds go by while I lay on your chest listening to your heartbeat. I wish I could sit on the beach with the waves lapping at our feet, looking into the soft black pools that are your eyes. You'd pick me up and flail me in the air and we'd laugh, a frozen moment where nothing else matters.

This boy got himself a haircut! Without telling me! Haha.

Another one leaving SBOF. Zahri, this very approachable fatherly guy has been promoted to the atas place and is leaving the ship. I will never, ever forget the morning/night me and Yana saw him dance on New Year! HAHAHAHA! That moment, we knew Zahri is a very special person. Yes, a very different approach compared to Dean, but is a great manager in his own right. Always has a smile on his face, never raises his voice to any of us but is definitely firm when he needs to be, is extremely patient and a gregarious sense of humour.

I'll miss him.

Well, gots to get ready for school (bleah). Turrah!

2008-06-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked four months. Dear, dear.

Minutes pass by so fast when I'm with you, what more days, what more months. And to think five months ago I made a vow not to commit myself anymore, for a long time. But that's in the past. You came along and helped me fall in love again. But with you, I know you're not just another passing cloud.

I guess four months might sound like nothing to some; our four months seem like a superbly long four months. Perhaps it's because of the many things we do, it's never the typical watch a date, have dinner kind of going out. Perhaps it's the many conversations we have, and I say converse, not exchange mushy fluff all the time. Perhaps it's the daily I love yous.

Mizee
Stay with me
I know we're meant to be.

***

AIMAN IS MY HERO.

He fought off three guys who are each twice his size when they tried to abduct him.
YOU GO LAH! I witnessed it, such an amazing thing. But also bloody hilarious. Damn I should have taken a video.

OK bye.

***

2008-06-11T21:11:00.001-07:00

It's not that I don't want to attend class. It's just that I'm sick, I really am! And I don't want to go to class and spread the germs to my classmates!

Here I am, without voice, coughing like mad, feeling like crap and I receive an email from my careperson demanding to see me with a threat that if I don't go and see her, she will call my parents. She thinks I'm back to my play play freshie ways. I'm not that stupid okay.

If she thinks I don't care about school, I would have quit a long time ago. I wouldn't have bothered, I would have just given up. I could be living a carefree life right now. I'm bloody eighteen, I know what consequences are. I really regret failing those two modules. I admit, I was stupid. If she doesn't believe me, then fine!

And sometimes I have to skip school so I can work. If I don't work, I can't hand in stuff! And I'm making it a point to only work two weekdays, so I can still show my face in school. Why can't you people understand. Seriously. Is the school going to give me allowance? I don't think so.

Now who remembers Public Speaking?

I only absented myself two or three days, two of which I got myself an MC. By my standards (standards meaning the absents I usually get, which is alot) , that's really good.

Gahh.

2008-06-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

Been sick the past two days. I hate being sick.

I'm feeling better now. Just left with a cough, after which I should be fine. My school work has been left untouched. Sometimes I seriously feel like quitting school. I hate being graded for doing what I like to do. I hate the whole chasing after grades thing. I find it so... bleargh.

Mizee's finally got himself a job. At Ducktours! So fun right. Being a tour guide. To stupid tourists. So fun la. Right at this very moment, he's going on all the rides. It's so weird, both our jobs involve us having to interact with tourists. Confirm got alot of stupid stories.

I'm okay if we don't get to see each other much, really.

I just finished watching this arty movie called "Cashback". I'm getting hooked on arty movies. I got exposed to quite alot of French movies when I was in secondary school, I guess that's where I got the interest from. After watching these movies I feel inspired, even vaguely but still inspired. Moved, maybe. There's just that certain je ne sais quoi about these movies, be it the British humour or French provocativeness, it just reels you in (pardon the pun).

I also realised that I do have quite a, I wouldn't say passion, I wouldn't say flair either, but a certain ability to write. I realised this when I was doing my Creative Storytelling assignment. It brought me back to the times when I wrote essays for English, and analysed blocks of text for Literature. Words came to me naturally, words to describe these images in my head. Words to let the reader form those images in his or her own way, through his or her own interpretation. I guess that's the edge that writing has over any form of media.

Anyway.

I'm craving for Japanese food. And Mizee's hugs. And tiramisu.

2008-06-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

Days go by and I know I will never get sick of seeing my dear's face. It seems like we've known each other forever.

I'm having a really bad sore throat. Gahh. And guess what's for lunch? Briyani! HAIYOH.

Okeh I got tagged by Shikin.

1. How long will you wait for someone you love?
As long as it takes. CHEH.

2. What do you want to do now?
Take my throat out, rub some honey on it, and put it back nicely in.

3. What would you do when your dearest lose trust in you?
Kuch Nehi! In the first place, I wouldn't do anything that would make him lose trust in me.

4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Hmm. No, I don't hate my friends. At all.

5. Where do you wish to die?
On a beautiful beach somewhere in the Mediterranean.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Yeah, I seen it I seen it!!!

7. What are the impossible things you wish to do?
Flip through magazines and be able to pick the stuff that I want, and have them appear before my eyes just like that. For free. Ahhhhhhhhh.

8. Your darkest secret.
I have a penis.

9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
Yes, hair suicide. Ding dong.

10. What if your crush asked you out?
Scream, "HELL YES BABY!"

11. BSB or NSYNC, and why?
BSB!!! No need for a reason.

12. What feelings do you hate the most?
Feeling anxious, like I forgot to do something but I don't know what it is.

13. What is the stupidest question you've ever asked?
Really ah? -after hearing an incredulously unbelievable stupid shit story. I'm like that.

14. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
My throat getting better. I hate being sick.

15. The most important thing in your life.
Halls. I can't live without them.

16. Have you ever betrayed someone who is dearest to you?
Nope.

17. Do you find life meaningless?
Wow what a philosophical question. Hmm. Trying to find meaning in life is not something you should pursue doggedly, instead I believe that when it's time for you to realise what you were born for, all meaning will eventually fall in place. After all, when there is life, there is always a purpose, a meaning, if you will. Yeah, right.

18. Who do you love the most?
Alah, must I choose?

19. The craziest thing(s) you ever did.
Take a stack of pamphlets from some stand, and give it out to random people in the middle of Marina Square at 11ish at night.

20. What's your greatest wish?
Have a studio of my own.

21. The sweetest thing you ever did for someone.
Probably plunge in and say "Yes" without doubts.

Instructions: Remove one question from above and replace it w your own. Tag 8 people, list 'em down at the end of the post.

My mother
My father
My brother
My brother
My brother
My cat (yes, she is family okay)
My cat's husband

To early times dear.

2008-06-04T10:06:00.001-07:00

It's always like this.

I sit down in front of the computer, having an intention to blog, but when I raise my fingers over the keyboard, my brain goes blank.

Why? Je ne sais pas.

I now have wireless in my house, which gives me no reason to leave my blog deserted and bleak. Thank you boyfriend.

Warming up to the Macbook is interesting. I was transferring my old photos from my old Acer laptop to the Mac, and I felt almost like the Acer was staring accusingly at me, like, "Yes, abandon me, chuck me aside just like that."

Yeah. Anyway.

Off to more Guitar Maniac. Challengers, anyone? Heh. Nights!

2008-05-25T01:24:00.000-07:00

I am typing on a Macbook which is........ MINE MINE MINE!

Yeah, I got my own Macbook. Now my life is almost complete. Thanks to Singnet. I love Singnet.

Waiting for Amin to install Adobe CS2 in it, then kan, that's it ah.

I came home on Wednesday night after closing, to be greeted by the sight of a luminous white box lying on my bed. I swear it looked like it came straight from heaven. Belum mandi belum aper, I opened the box and set my sight on this wondrous thing and straightaway hugged it. Haha.

They've hoarded up One Fullerton, but business is still on. YES PEOPLE WE ARE STILL OPEN. Come in and see our happy faces, now that there's no view to enjoy.

Ok I'm hungry.

2008-05-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Okay! I have finally got around to uploading my gazillions of photos on Photobucket. I hope people are happy -stares at Shikin- haahah.

Anyhoo. They are all still uploading now. Still uploading. Lalala.

Watched Speed Racer at EHub At Downtown East. Yes people, got Cathay there. Very nice and spacious, with leg room so you can throw your legs around anywhere you want. Watched the 2.05 pm show, with a countable sum of fellow watchers.

Speed Racer, to me, is awesome. To you, I don't know. I think it's either a love it or hate it movie. Must always watch movies with an open mind, not a pessimistic critical anal one.

EHub is a very nice place full of eateries that will spoil you for goddamn choice.

Got New York New York, Gelare, Full House, BBQ Chicken, Superdog, Taiwanese Street Snacks, some yoghurt place, Teasia Cafe blah blah. There's even a doughnut place. Tsk. There's also an arcade and a bowling alley. And NTUC. And that big playground thing where you dump your kids while you go off schnoodling somewhere. So fun right.

Then me and Mizee went to the beach for some us-time. Haha.

I still want to live by the beach.

2008-05-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

Three days and two nights of utter bliss. Waking up to the smell and sound of the beach is so freaking awesome, I wish I can do it everyday. I wish I'm a multi-billionaire, then I can buy a house at Sentosa Cove. Oh well.

I love you.

Shikin 'Pwincesshh' got surprised at OF on Friday night. Stupid BMW event, make the place cramped only. Nabe.

Pictures soon babes, I gotta rush my assignment. Ta!

My old friend, don't you ever come again
You make me feel so blue, and I don't know what to do.

2008-05-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I took my Coffee Master Challenge on the 27th, Sunday (after much heated arguments on whether it was on Saturday or Sunday), and I had a lot of fun. Well, after devoting half my time to studying for it, the least I could do was have fun I guess. I didn't know anybody else in my batch, except for Fuad, who didn't even turn up in the end that useless doofus.

Before I go on, I'd like to say a huge thanks to Ros Syafiqah Binte Roslan for her never-ending support (she even accompanied me to the HQ on her off day and had to sit outside and wait) and guidance. She helped me alot, she believed in me, she was my main motivation/motivator. CHEH machiam award acceptance speech gitu kan. HAHA.

Also, thanks to Ahmad Tarmizi Bin Sanusi for accompanying me on my studying sessions even though it probably bored the shit out of you. Then you help me out of my brain-deadness by taking me out! I love you!

Special thanks to Ching for your words of advice, and your firm belief in me.

And last but not least, the whole of SBOF for the wonderful support I've received. Nyeh.

(I typed all that on the 29th before wondering if it was a little too over-confident because I hadn't received any confirmation yet hahaha, so I didn't publish it)

AND IT IS CONFIRMED! I GOT BLACK APRON!

Hahah, as you can see, I very happy.

Yesterday, at work, I feeling abit. I wore Fazees' black apron. Hehe. The apron is longer than my skirt.

More updates another day. I very tired. Ta!

2008-04-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

I had fun today.

I love Ahmad Tarmizi Bin Sanusi.

OK bye.

2008-04-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'm drinking Vitagen in the hope of making my stomach pains go away, when what I really need is a proper diet (fruits and vegetables) full of fibre which will help me externalise my body waste.

Haiya. I'm sure this isn't stomach flu, but this is bad enough. I feel you Shikin!

I just took my Coffee Master Level 1 Paper. I scored 95%. Woot. But the real thing, the real thing people, is scaring me out of my wits. I'm going alone some more! Mygawd!

Nights.

2008-04-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

Hello people!

Been busy, sorry for the lack of updates.

I've been busy, happy, so happy.

I'm just happy I don't really have to divide my time, and struggle to find a balance between people I love. Though people I've ignored or neglected, I'm sorry.

It's funny really, suddenly somebody comes along and fits so perfectly into my life, changes the way I look at things, the way I look at myself. There's nothing more I want. I feel so at home with this somebody, it's like I've known him forever. He brings me down to earth when I drift away (you know, when I just don't bother and all), even still he can make me feel so, well, special.

I tend to reflect on things at the weirdest of times. Reflect on the people in my life, on how I'm spending my days, who I spend them with. It's not a wallowing in emotions kind of thing, it's more on reminding myself of the things I have right now, and how I really should appreciate them.

Laila has just left One Fullerton, to concentrate on her studies I presume. I guess when you leave, you never really do. Laila, the crazy wacky bimbo with the hyena laugh, yet hands down one of the prettiest persons I've ever met, both inside and outside.

Dear Laila, once a pirate, always a pirate, no?

Zaini has been promoted to Store Manager of Kiosk. When he gave his so-called acceptance speech, I almost teared. I felt so proud of him, that old man. Then he said, "You guys, I can say, have become like family to me." Ah, that part ah. Sungguh touching. It must mean a hell lot more to him, because he's from another country and all. You know what I mean.

King of Heaven eh.

Today, we had supper at KTM after the CBS workshop at Vivo2. And today, I felt very thankful I have the pirates in my life. How many people can say, "I love my colleagues!"? It's only here that everybody at work is a friend.

Going back to my first point, having Mizee by my side, while laughing my ass off with the pirates, is really something I wouldn't exchange for anything else.

Cheers my dears.

2008-03-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

I had an awesome eighteenth birthday. Awesome awesome awesome.

Being the oblivious person that I am, I did not foresee three surprises. I am serious, I think I am surprise-radar deficit or something. Even if you drop hints, I will not suspect a thing.

First one was The Tasty Bunch. They surprised me with a home made cake at Resto Surabaya, then we had Ayam Penyet and two good hours of pool. Ah, just like the good old days. I miss you guys.

I didn't get thrown into the pool! Heh. A lot of other people did though. Kesian, jadi scapegoat.
Chalet at Aloha Loyang (my favourite! Well, so far anyway) with the lovely people of One Fullerton, shisha, movies, cake, 500 bucks. I love you people.

Ahmad Tarmizi lied to me saying he would be in Malacca for some wedding. I totally fell for it. "Happy Birthday Dear" in glowsticks. The first thing I said to him was, "YOU MORON!" Haha! It was so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. Gueh sayang banget sama lu!

Now I'm eighteen. So fast. Two more months and it'll be a year since I joined Starbucks. Two more months and I'll be in my second year in poly. No more fooling around Syafiqin!

My parents were at home just now, and they are so adorable together. My mum made my dad take off so that he can help her bake brownies. And he was grumbling about it, then he smacked my mum jokingly. Then my mum took a wooden back scratcher and smacked him on the butt. KELAKAR EH. Then he complained to me, "See lah your mum, ask me take off help her make brownies, then she smack me, haiyo, eh kak go wash the toilet lah!"

I said, " HUH??? NO! "

"OH kat Starbucks boleh cuci toilet eh, kat rumah taknak!"
(Oh at Starbucks can wash toilet, at home don't want!)

"Aper Pa?? Kat Starbucks maner ader toilet??"
(What Pa?? At Starbucks where got toilet??")

"Abeh korang kencing kat maner?"
(Then you all pee where?")

"Kat public toilet lah!"
(At the public toilet lah!)

"OH."
(OH.)

My mum cuts in, "Eh pergi cuci toilet lah! Anak kau tengah makan kan!!"
(Eh go wash the toilet lah! Your daughter eating right!)

Back to my dad, "mengomel mengomel mengomel"
(grumble grumble grumble)

Me and my mum, "hehehehehehehe"

My parents are so adorable!!!

Hah.

Goodnight dears.

2008-03-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm in school, on my off day, waiting for project consultation with Mr. Motherfucker. Wow. What a lovely Tuesday.

I wonder how I could stand contact lenses for so long. It's so wonderful to be able to wake up, shower, put on mascara and straightaway put on my glasses. It sure beats spending twenty minutes trying to poke two pieces of plastic into your sleep-depraved, irritated eyes.

I just hope Mr.Mofo doesn't make my life miserable by putting down my pictures completely. This is something new; I have never had my pictures graded before. It's usually, hmm nice photo opportunity, point and shoot, look back at the photo and smile. I've rarely had to think when I take photos, and I've never had to worry whether my photos will be criticized or put down or whatnot.

Am feeling extra fat today. Haiya.

2008-03-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

Im turning eighteen in nine days! (just a gentle reminder)

I want to say a big thankyou to Laila for the tumbler. Lup you lah! Thank you! Muah!

Today was shisha (or is it shesha? however you spell it) marathon day with Laila, Mun and Mizee. First was free at Sanobar, thanks to Laila's favourite Arab dude, then we went to Al Majlis, where Mun has his other job.

I'm trying not to be too reckless with my money. I know I'll be needing a whole chunk of it for my Photog final project. 15 A4 digital prints! That is a shitload of money ah! Seriously! Motherfucker my lecturer. As you can tell, I hate his guts.

My shoulder aching ah. GHHGHGKJGHHNNRRRRR. ARGH.

Cheers.

2008-02-26T07:10:00.000-08:00

Here I am, eating warm chocolate cake in my room, reading my photography notes, music floating in the air. I feel so contented. If only it was raining.

I need more of these kind of nights.

No bodoh customers, no feeling of aching fatigue. I'm not sick of work, no, I just need a break. And to think I used to work five days a week, working eight hours at a time. Crazy.

I need to clean up my room so badly.

Okay, back to my notes.

Cheers.

2008-02-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

I am in school people! Go buy 4D for yesterday's date. Go!

Photography, the only reason I am stepping in school. But, I have a dickhead for a lecturer who keeps bragging about himself and throwing hissy fits when we are late and such. Just now he tossed a heavy bunch of notes at a latecomer, who happened to be standing behind me, and of course the latecomer didn't manage to catch the notes because civilised people do not throw notes at each other, so the notes bloody dropped on me! Pain!

And and and, the staple caught onto my sleeve and now there's a slight hole on my sleeve. Nabeh.

2008-02-19T09:04:00.000-08:00

Some things are just so hard to do.

Like blogging regularly for instance. And going to school.

Today was brilliant. Balancing acts and posing for pictures at Sunset Way with my Indon tourist, then meeting up with Han and Sarah beloved for dinner and mochi.

I want to do late night shenanigans again.

I'm turning eighteen in less than a month (just a gentle reminder), I hope the sabotage is not too awful. Remember my dear pirates, I cannot swim, and chlorine must not touch my contacts! I do not want to die on my eighteenth birthday.

Cheers.

2008-02-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Amin, I have managed to finish three assignments in a record time of four hours! I was close to ripping my hair out due to my lack of proper software and my greater lack of time, but Amin kindly lent me his Mac, and tadah!

Heh. I wanted to go store real early, like nine o'clock early, but knowing me, plus the fact that I did closing yesterday, nine o'clock was never going to happen.

Anyhoo, I'm freezing in here.

And my shoulders are aching. The chronic ache is back and with a vengeance too. Haiya.

OK lah bye lah.

2008-02-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

It's been more than a week since I last blogged.

It's been more than a week since I attended school. Okay, kidding. I went to school yesterday, after six days of not doing so. As usual, the quiet talks outside the classroom, the offers of help in case I have any 'learning difficulties' (this does not mean I am spastic, it just means loss of motivation). I know they cannot help me.

In Design, if you can't help yourself, nobody can.

So I've decided to stop this slacking nonsense. I stayed up till 5 this morning working on my first assignment, got one heck of a brainwave, and basically soaked in my own creative juices. That felt nice.

So, I'm off to do my research for my second assignment.

Cheers darlings.

2008-01-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

I'm sick ah. Damnit.

2008-01-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

Shit I got warning email from school regarding my unexplained absences. That's it. I'm checking the postbox tomorrow.

My mind's a blank so I'll just post photos.

Okay, I realised I haven't resized my photos so these are all I'm posting for today.

2008-01-22T08:27:00.000-08:00

This nabehcibai block is coming to an end! Wow. That is fast.

Next block, 9 to 12pm Applied Illustration. Then 12 to 3pm History of Design Culture.
Confirm the only assignment is Journal, for the latter. Confirm one!

Here comes the best part: I can do weekday closings again!

I've been wanting to bring my Mum out one of these days. Bring her shopping, then bring to her to OF. Sit down, drink coffee, show her an integral part of my life. Bring her around Clarke Quay maybe. Get my Dad something, maybe a couple of polo tees or a new belt. I need my parents to know I still love them, even though they never see my face at home. I think I'll get my Dad a few self-help IT books. He loves that kind of shit.

After I was born, I had my parents to myself for three years. They took me out, they doted on me and devoted their time to me. My Dad brought me to his workplace, so did my Mum.

Memories.

Anyway, yesterday's presentation went great! Fiq + presentation = Lots of talking cock

Gahh. I wanted to do a long post. The teevee's distracting me.

Goodnight dearies.

2008-01-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

Here I am, at home when I'm supposed to be in school. I woke up relatively early today, ten thirty. That's early. I think my attendance for Typo is probably 20%, 30% if I'm lucky. Fiq, Fiq. Apa nak jadi dengan kau.

HAHA.

I have a presentation later, and I haven't prepared a single shit.

I've been thinking lot these days, alot more than I usually do.

I've also been cutting my hair shorter and shorter. But I told myself to stop it already ah.

I'm turning eighteen this year. In less than two months' time. It's amazing, the way I've changed, the things I've been through, the people I've met. Two years down the road, and I'll graduate (hopefully I don't have to repeat or whatever), then maybe I'll get to spend time doing things I want to do. After my diploma, I want to take a break from doings things I HAVE to do. Things like deadlines, rules, shit.

My dream, if I haven't told you, is to publish my own graphic novel. Yeh.

Hopefully by the time I'm twenty, I'll be pretty sure of what I want to do with my life and who I want to be. Because I'll no longer be a bloody teenager. I can't be angsty and confused anymore.

The next two years, I want to beat myself up as much as I can. I want to test my own capabilities, see how far I can go, and how much I can stretch myself. That should be fun.

Cheers darlings. Go find your own path okay.

2008-01-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

I managed to complete my assignment within two hours, due to a sudden rush of willpower and desperation. See, procrastinate some more! Tsk. Of course, the end result was nothing more than crap, and I can't say I am proud of myself for rushing a big assignment.

Today was the first day of work in four days. I could not stop working. Hahah so what's new? Even after I clocked out, I was still making drinks, until Nurul and Imah chased me out. Plus, I'm staying for closing today. When I end at ten. I was so clumsy, I flipped a quiche upside down, I spilled milk, foam and coffee. Today was a fun shift though, I laughed like nobody's business. When I came in, it was all guys (and they were gossiping in the backroom), then suddenly it was all girls. What is this? Segregation eh?

I am very cold!

We played catching in store just now, but for a while only. The pickup counter was the 'safe place', then suddenly the siren was the 'safe place'. I also discovered that the pineapple tarts are very nice. Really. Okay people, buy Starbucks Pineapple Tarts! For a limited period only, while stocks last. I don't want to reveal the price here because you will not buy after hearing how much it costs hahahah.

No, seriously. I lost count of how many I ate already.

Okay moving on.

To what, I don't know. So I'll end here.

Goodnight dears.

2008-01-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Back to school proper for me. Submission deadlines, three hour modules, non-stop assignments.

Weekends are devoted to work.

Of course it's tiring. I never said it wasn't. I don't like being a cranky bitch but I think it's normal to be a cranky bitch when you're tired, no?

School doesn't understand that I am not a morning person.

So my sincerestestest apologies for leaving the blog stagnating like this. It was never my intention to leave you people hanging. Hahs.

Goodnight dears.

2008-01-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

I thought I was strong enough.

Seems like I thought wrong.

My head hurts.

2008-01-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

I am in school. I still cannot believe I am in school. *pinches myself

Yes, I am in school.

I woke up at 6 freaking 20 am today after ages of sleeping in happily. This term, I am not going to slack! I hope. Heehee.

Anyway, New Year's Eve + New Year was a blast. I had crazy fun working at SB-OK. Yeap. Crazy indeed. Me and Yana clocked a grand total of plus minus 14 hours. FOURTEEN HOURS people. Non-stop. The slam was not too bad, but the slew of people at One Fullerton was madness.

Orang bertepek siol.

My voice was half there half not there, so I couldn't really talk that much, but I laughed a hell lot though. I did Frap first, then slid to Bar. Yana became the expediter. The customers were attacking her. Then she screamed at them. \m/

During the fireworks, Yana, Syaf and me ran out in our aprons, selit selit between the Banglas and stood next to the Merlion to watch.

I wonder, why can't people appreciate fireworks peacefully? There was this group of girls behind us who were shrieking like they were being raped, " OHMYGAWD SO PRETTY AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

And I swear, the crowd did a series of collective Ooohs and Aaaahs and Waaahhhhsss.
Damn funny ah!

There were drunk people everywhere, Banglas dancing, matrips doing what they always do (being eyesores and general public nuisances), random Ang Mohs shouting "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" and whatnot.

I think I was too tired to the point that I became hyper, and my hyperness lasted till 7am in the morning, which was way after all the revelry.

Anyway, I had a nice surprise that night. Thanks Mizee. Purple disco balls! Heh.

Pictures soon okay.

Typography and Layout looks to be a nice module. *clasps hands and prays hard
One, PhekGek is not teaching. Wahoo!
Two, the teacher that took over is a darling. He says 9.30 means on time, which means 9.40 is still considered okay. I'm like, I LOVE YOU CAN.
Plus, he's not going to harp on attendance! Unlike PhekGek!
And guess what, the lesson ended twenty minutes ago.

I'm still very very sore about the bloody six hour break that I'm having though. Nabeh.

I won't be able to do weekday closings anymore :(
I will miss OF lor! :(((((

Haiya.

Cheers. And Happy 2008.

2007-12-22T09:33:00.000-08:00

Fine Izzy, I'm blogging.

Ching! Stop it nehneh!

Aww thanks Lyla dear :)

I'm in a rather pensive mood actually now.
The kind of person I am is, somebody who likes to escape. I like running away, and I like to avoid, be it things, people or circumstances.

People say this isn't a good thing. Why don't I face whatever it is that I'm running away from? Why don't I resolve, or confront?

One, I hate confrontations. Two, I believe in karma.

So don't tell me to stop running away. I'm standing right here, it's just a matter of me looking away. No matter how much I want to escape, sometimes you can never get around to doing the things you like, or want to.

Isn't it amazing how fast time flies? It just whizzes by you, doesn't it?

Eight more days, and it's a brand new year.

I vowed to myself to stop it with the sleeping in. I've been sleeping late and waking up late. This is unhealthy. And think of the time I've wasted sleeping. And it's not even restful sleep, it's more like the lazybum kind of sleep, the kind where you just don't want to physically get out of the bed, so you just sleep the morning away.

I don't really want to talk about what has been going on in my life, because I'm still trying to figure things out.

Anyway. I miss SHIKIN, FADZIL, AND IMAH.

I met Shikin just now, so I'm happy. Even though it was for a short while. I miss our days out babe. Nyeh. Fuck all the plastic people, you got me! Double nyeh.

I've been working hard. So what's new. I am a workaholic, I confess I feel weird when I don't work. I don't see how people can just bum around at home (I think I've said this a million times haha), seriously! I think if you make me stay at home the whole day and do nothing, I will explode. I think the last time I stayed at home was when I injured my toe (yes, when that Daily Offerings Board fell on it). And that was ages ago okay.

I think school starts earlier than I think.

I think I think way too damn much larh!

Met my beloved cousin Atieq just now. I realised how much I miss her, because I haven't seen her in ages. She's the only cousin who knows what's going on in my life. Nice to see she got herself a good-looking, English-speaking boy. Hahas.

I've got The Kooks in my head and a dry feeling in my throat.
My hands are itching to continue drawing.

I scraped my leg and I didn't even know it. Well done Syafiqin.

Okay I'm off. Morning.

2007-12-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long absence. I've been rather busy. Nyeh.

In instances like this, where too many things have happened in too long a period of time, I usually am far too lazy to blog.

GAHH.

Ah DAMN YOU LAH. I'm talking to my laptop now. Wow.

It's bloody lagging.

Pantat larh.

Today was nice.

And the list gets longer.

2007-12-12T09:40:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU SHIKIN. Yes, more than neng can ever love you. HAHAH

No matter what happens babe, I'll always be here for you okay? Okay.

Izzy, YELAH YELAH. Credits to Izzy dear for my new name.

Hmm. The future looks bleak. But I hope, as a family, we can pull through unscathed, weed out the bad seeds, and take good care of ourselves.

SO.
I was in the MRT going home, minding my own business, when a matrip rudely told me his friend wants my number. In front of the whole carriage.

I'm like, excuse me?

Firstly, you're a matrip. That should say it all. You are rude, uncouth, fugly and stupid.

Secondly, if you really want my number, why the heck does your friend have to ask for you, when you're sitting right next to him? I mean, it shouldn't take much effort to just blurt out a sentence to a random girl opposite you, especially when you're a matrip and you were naturally born without shame and a loud mouth, right?

Thirdly, you have ugly friends, two of whom look like they are pissed drunk, one of whom is a minahrip who doesn't even know what MRT line to take to get to Sengkang and keeps staring at me like I murdered her mother, and all of whom look like they belong to different species of scum. Definitely not the kind of people I want to be acquainted with.

Fourthly, you're a matrip.

Fifthly, you're a matrip.

Sixthly, you're a freaking matrip! Get the fuck away from me!

Anyhoo, I am tired and my shoulder's aching.

2007-12-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

Here is a list of people/things that irritate me:

1) People who show no consideration or sensitivity to others.

Whoever you mofos are, be it the auntie who pushes and shoves in the MRT, the moron with an umbrella who insists on walking in the middle of the pavement thus letting all the umbrella-less people get drenched because your umbrellas are so damn BIG, whoever you are lah eh.

2) Greed.

3) People who act like they're good friends with you. And then blast you behind your back. Thanks.

4) People who come to work with shit attitude.

5) Bad English.

I mean, Singlish, I can stand. Tourist English, I can stand.
I'm talking about really bad, atrocious, crippling English. It's okay if you can't really converse fluently in English, but to try so hard to impress me with an "extensive" vocabulary while knowing nuts about basic sentence structure, punctuation and spelling?

Nice try, but you can try harder.

6) The rain.

Depressing and does nothing for business.

I just want this tiredness to go away.

2007-12-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

WTF HAPPENED TO MY TAGBOARD?

:(

2007-12-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

I just got home, and I can't sleep.

Yeah. And just now I was fucking lethargic. Now I feel so damn restless. Pantat.
I think right, my heart's telling me to start drawing again. I remember when I threw myself into it, drawing at every single moment I can. In class, at home, doing homework, in the MRT, on tables, on chairs, on walls, wherever. Now? I draw one thing, and I get tired. The fervousness (fervosity?) is gone. But methinks it is coming back! Which is great!

Anyway.

I miss the Tasty Bunch. Sarah. Atiqah. Han. Shahidah. I miss you guys! Like, so fucking much!

I know work and school have pretty much monopolized my life, and I have little or no time to do other things. And I have neglected my besties :(

You guys made life in Anderson worthwhile. I remember Sarah was the first ever friend I made. She made Maths lessons with Su Tee (actually, every lesson lah eh) a riot, with us talking bloody nonsense and irritating the hell out of him (remember the umbrella incident?). Han and her face mutations that never fail to make me laugh my ass off. Going over to Sarah's for movie marathons and cooking sessions. Atiqah's place for Burnout Revenge and free food.

I miss all that.

Remember the incident with Ain? You guys were there for me, and that really meant a lot. It still does.

Back then(cheh) when I was still boyfriend-dependant, you guys made the breakups feel half as bad. Like they say, boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever.

<3

Can't wait for Xmas shopping.

Yeah, the feeling of wanting, or needing a boyfriend, has died long ago. I'm sorry, but I find it hard to invest(yeah, invest) my feelings in somebody of the opposite sex now. No, I'm not turning gay, even though I love girls, but I love girls in a straight kinda way you know?

Mmm. Anyway.

After what happened with Hanif, I guess this is how I am now. He hurt me like nobody has ever done before, and by doing that, changing a major part of myself. It's not that I'm afraid that I will get hurt again, or whatever kind of pussy nonsense people say when they get dumped, cheated on or whatever. Of course, shortly after the incident, I did feel fucked-up, like Fuck all men, they're all jerks and assholes and fucktards.

Don't worry, I'm fine now. It's just that I know I can find happiness outside of a guy's arms, in the company of friends, in work and in art. I do have baggage, but it's all zipped up and kept away now.

I mean, honestly, even I myself am weirded out by my behaviour sometimes. I try to find that part of me, that part that wants to be one half of a couple, that part that wants a hand to hold, that wants a nice boy to rely on, but I can't find it! I'm serious!

Oh wells.

Imah asked me, "Fiq, are you happy being single?"

I said, "Honestly, I don't know. But I am happy enough I guess."

Then I thought for a few more seconds.

"Actually I am happy. Yeah. I am."

Hahah. Says it all, no?

Good morning people. Cheers.

2007-12-01T02:46:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long hiatus! Sorry many many.

I lovelovelove the kiosk. It's pretty.

Closing yesterday knocked me out till one in the afternoon today. I woke up to Shikin's call (HMM now how often does that happen?? hahaha) and I went Somerset to watch ThreeWayStreet's last performance. People were painting dustbins! I wasn't in a mood to paint so I didn't. If not I would have. Haha.

Counting the days to payday. I'm so fucking broke it's not even funny. I have to control my spending habits. NO, more like, spending vice.

Then I can buy Xmas presents! It's going to be a big Xmas, with OK and OF combined. So sexciting.

Okay. I don't know what to blog about anymore.

Cheers people.

2007-11-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

I woke up to dung dung cheng today. Dung dung cheng meaning a Chinese funeral procession. NO OFFENCE AT ALL to Chinese people but really, I didn't appreciate that.

Yesterday, Nurul and Me saw something truly disgusting on the way home. No, it's not Syd or Michael. And it's not an old man masturbating either. We were just about to enter the MRT when the man in front of us suddenly took a VERY large step, like he wanted to avoid stepping on something.

Then he went in and we saw a hugeass puddle of vomit on the floor. Like, really huge. EW.

So we went in another door and sat down. From there we could see the vomit wasn't just on the floor, it was on the door and the panel as well. LIKE WTF? And it was alot lah! Did the person vomit or bloody explode?

And yeah, Nurul got off at Dhoby Ghaut so she didn't have to endure the smell, so there I was giggling to myself watching unsuspecting morons step on the vomit and then curse and swear to themselves. HAHA. There was a girl who ALMOST leaned on the door with the vomit. Almost.

I should have taken a photo. Damn.

Listening to John Mayer again.

Gravity
Is working against me
And gravity
Wants to bring me down
Twice as much
Ain't twice as good

This week, I'm back to my closing pattern again. Hehe.

Yana: Hahaha bummly bum keper. Awww. ILY ILY.
Ham: Can I slap you first? Then you explain? Or try to explain?
Fadlul: LOL pantat.
Nurul: HAHAHA eh careful don't die by choking on your own saliva. So tak glam.

Cheers people.

2007-11-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

I want to blog.

But I'm tired. Tomorrow lah.

2007-11-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

I feel like being a bum today!
YOU KNOW WHY?

Because today, marks the first day, of TP DESIGN BREAK.
Oh yeah babys, I will be free from school for six weeks.

*skips around in glee

*skips around some more

*bangs into wall

But no. I'm not a bum by nature, I think. I have to start work on the zine design because deadline is looming near. I think I'm a serious workaholic. I feel weird if I don't have something to hand in, or closing to do, or just something on my hands. And if I don't have anything to do, I will find something to do! Go out or something.

I don't understand how people can just laze around at home. HOW SIA I CANNOT!

I mean, I sleep too much and I get a headache, and because of that, Panadol has become my best friend. I sit at home for too long and I get a bloody headache.

Maybe one day I'll get tired of having things to do.

"Yo momma so old when they asked her to act her age, she died."
HAHAHAHAH.

Ahem. Sorry.

Going store later. So what's new.

I need fucking fags man. Hais.

Shit I'm getting goosebumps listening to John Mayer.

It's these kind of songs that just make you smile and forget all the shit in your life.
You know, like when your Mum starts screaming at your brothers.

I mean, I love my mother, but she has this uncanny ability to irritate the crap out of me. Even when it's not concerning me, you know? I'm like, OMG STOP IT MOTHER.

Oh wells. Just like how all makciks are irritating. Except my mother is not a gossip and she has a more youthful and relevant perspective than your normal average makcik.

I feel like bitchsmacking my laptop sometimes. It lags at the most random of times. I HATE LAGS. Somehow I am very impatient when it comes to computers. I expect everything to run smoothly and quickly and woe betide any computer that dare lags on me.

AH fuck it.

2007-11-18T01:49:00.000-08:00

I am so senget now, it's not funny anymore.

Okay, being the relative noob that I am, yesterday was the first time I moshed in a pit. I tore my dress, my legs are aching and I have a splitting headache. But it was awesome.

Lime Sonic Bang was not too bad, just that the emcees talked way too damn much. I'm like Shut the hell up and get on with the show already you mother! And each band only got to play what, three damn songs? Like weh.

I got to catch Caracal (ah, hotness), Plain Sunsets, GSE, AVA. For the first two, I stood somewhere at the back. Then for GSE, I progressed to going into the pit, but at the side. People were pushing from inside, and the guards were pushing from outside. A barricade fell down, I almost lost my shoes, I was screaming FUCK all over the place, and FUCK YOU to all the mothers who groped, shoved and physically assaulted me. Thanks. Then for AVA I found myself right up in front larsey! Like magically you know. Thanks to Diyana ah si giler tu.

Me and Yana were surrounded by tall guys and I felt scared for my life.

Then the world went blur. Literally. One big awesome fucked-up blur.

Gahhhhhh.

Cannot sia, do that everyday.

Then we had breakfast at Macs. Like drunk fucktards already, I couldn't stop laughing. Fadly and Fahni are two of the funniest fuckers I've ever met. Wait till I murder them.

Then I went home and slept. Four three hours.

And now I'm senget. Hehe.
Okay bye.

2007-11-15T23:21:00.000-08:00

Woke up at twelve today to aching shoulder blades and my brother blasting Muse on the computer. Not too shabby.

I'm starting to like the feeling of short hair, or rather, the lack of feeling. Imagine the shampoo I'll save. I can make one bottle last three times the amount of time compared to when I had long hair! How awesome is that. I'll save water, reduce waste, reduce hair loss (leading to a cleaner bedroom floor), I mean, I can make the world a better place!

Okay I'm talking cock now.

Yesterday, eh no, this morning I felt very high somehow and talked nonsense with Yana on the transport back home. I think I was so tired I couldn't feel the tiredness. I'm becoming like Zaini. Driven insane by tiredness.

Supposed to have Learning Coach class today but it got cancelled. Nabei, cheat me of my feelings. Excited already know!

Yesterday Boss dropped by and stayed till closing. And he was singing to "You Are Not Alone" with actions larsey! Too bad I missed that split second where he came running in and singing a line from the song with arms wide open and all. Yana saw, go ask her how it was.

Am at Starbucks Civic Center now. Yana is taking a nice nap and I am using her lappy. I love typing on her lappy. Like very nice like that.

We played insanely cute stickmen shootout games just now. Gory but cute.

I had sushi. Yum. I think that's why I feel happy. Because of sushi. Really! Sushi has this indescribable power to make me happy.

I mean, when was the last time I typed an un-emo post huh?

I should eat sushi everyday.
I should eat sushi everyday.
I should eat sushi everyday.
I should eat sushi everyday.
I should eat sushi everyday.
I should eat sushi everyday.

That was fun. Nyaha.

But, I couldnt find scallops, my favourite. Huh. Oh wells. Maybe I shoudn't be too happy today.

Okay I think that's enough. Cheers.

2007-11-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

There's method to my emo-ness.

Yesterday I was so damn tired. I just felt like screaming at all the last minute customers, " AW COME ON GIMME A BREAK! "

At least I'm not sick anymore, I think.

2007-11-11T00:34:00.000-08:00

I've fallen to the flu bug. And so abruptly, too.

My head's fuzzy, my throat feels like there's a cactus stuck in it, and I keep breaking out in cold sweat. I feel like I'm not really existing, just living on a plane of quintessential being ( aka stoning like nobody's business ) and at the same time, typing incoherent sentences.

Hakimo: Starring kepe. Hahaha.

Hamberg: Before I smack you, it's okay! I can wear the dress another time! Haish. You know what, I think I will smack you anyways.

I'm supposed to be at work today, but because I cannot stand for long periods of time without feling like fainting, I am at home. And I will be for the rest of the day. Like, FOR EFFING ONCE, I am not out. Okay people, can go buy 4D now.

You know when they say, the only enemy you ever face is yourself?

And you know whenever I fall sick, I tend to think alot?

Sometimes I don't know what the hell I'm doing to myself. There's this feeling of detachment that I can't figure out no matter how hard I try to comprehend it. I know I'm still young, and there will be a moment in time where I'll feel like I've had enough, but in the meanwhile, I don't want to hurt those I care about, and those who have cared, or still do, about me.

But stopping, my friends, is far easier said than done.

Gahh.

Oh wells. This is between me and my evil twin.

I saw Marc in Juice! Haha And Kaycee from Caracal was in the same column. LOLS. I went Eh? (when I saw KC), then I went EH?!(when I saw Marc) Hahas.

Eh Shikin. I miss you.

Excuse me while I continue my rambling so-called existence on a parameter of illness and delusion. Cheers.

2007-11-06T21:29:00.001-08:00

I wish I don't blush so easily.

No no no it's just the red polo, hokay?

Stupid fuckface complainant yesterday night. If you can't stand noise, go live under a rock. Thank you.

Closing for four days straight. Bleah. Thank God I have a looooooooong weekend starting Thursday. No school till Tuesday. Yeah balls (thanks Nurul, now you got me started) !

Pay's here. Time to tear down the shops.

Cheers.

2007-11-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

ILY: OKEHH! Thanks darl.

HAM: Eh you another one, very random ahs. Oh, you weren't irritating what. Haiyo. Anyway, as long as good food is in the equation, it's never a bad thing. Trust me.

CHRISTINE: LMAO. You cuckoonehneh. Edit a new image? Like in Photoshop sia. Hahaha!

NURUL: I'm having migraines thinking of how to cut my hair. Hahaha.

IZZY: Um, yeah, I guess so. HAHAHA!

I'm tired.

2007-11-02T09:08:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder, what is it about me, that seem to attract all the fucktards in the world?

My past two boyfriends have been assholes, the guys I've dated have been more or less assholes, and the guys I'm getting to know are also, okay maybe not complete assholes but I can't seem to find a decent male whom I feel I can actually count on. They're all either mats (I know you know we know we all can't trust mats), childish morons, or people who are sweet and all (to the extent of giving flowers) but expect me to fall in love with them almost immediately.

Do I have "I only date FUCKFACES" stamped all over my face? DO I?

Damn. Why the sudden moodiness Fiq? People tell me not to think too much. I'M NOT.

I swear. You think I like being moody? WELL I DON'T K. You think I like being a cranky bitch? I don't! I'm slapping myself for being a cranky bitch but I can't stop being a cranky bitch. God.

Maybe I should get a life-sized Ken doll. I'll spray fake tan on him, put floppy blondish brown hair on him, dress him up like those oldschool Vespa boys and take him out. When I get enough money, I'll fix a voicebox and an intelligent microchip on him so we could have intellectual conversations by the sea.

Who says you can't find love in plastic?

Well, you can't. I can't marry Ken, can I? Grrr. And we cannot fornicate either. So that sucks.

Other than that, today was awesome. I don't like to impose my moodiness on people so I'm fine when I'm out with you guys. Makes me forget all the shit that's clogging up my mind. I feel so old sometimes. But I know, there's alot more worse shit that can happen to me when I actually get older so I'm thankful where I am now. I guess.

AH DAHLAH I don't know WTF I'm talking about anymore. I'll go to sleep now. Ta.

2007-10-31T22:32:00.000-07:00

You don't know what you're running away from.
Dorothy was right, oh.

You used to get it in your fishnets,
Now you only get it in your nightdress.
Saving all the naughty nights for niceness,
Philandering a very common crisis.

I can't eat. My stomach is so effed up.

Work was a blast yesterday. Well, the first half of work anyway. Halloween costumes and SBOF pirates belong together. Am I right?
I laughed and laughed. I laughed some more. But still never get six-pack. Haiya.

Other than that, work more or less sucked. It was the third day of my period, my back and shoulders were aching, AHEM was on the floor, there were boxes everyfuckingwhere because stocktake and prep for Xmas was happening on the same night. I just felt like lying down on the floor, apron and all. And and and, I spilled a whole carton of milk on the floor, then I broke the Venti scoop. And I kept hurting myself.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG

I need to cut my hair. Discard all the negativity that has been happening.

My mum is not talking sense. I was talking to this guy on the phone and she suddenly asked me if my friend wanted to nominate me for duno what award because she heard me talking to the guy about what secondary school I went, what school I'm in now blah blah. Like, WEHH?

I just gave her the "HUH I have no bloody idea what you're talking about" look and continued what I was doing. Gosh. I'm so rude.

Sorry Mum.

Okay that's all. Cheers.

2007-10-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

I can feel my mind meandering again. This is never a good thing. I won't feel like doing anything productive, just sitting down and getting things off my back.

Sometimes I confuse myself. I think I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm alright. Then I go home, and I feel like fuck. WHY SIA. I have four line drawings, two renderings and one still life composition to finish but I just feel like going out and getting wet in the rain.

I think God is being very kind to me. I reach home and five seconds later a storm starts.

I just took two Panadols (for what reason, I have no idea) and I am supposed to go to sleep.

So I will. Morning.

2007-10-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

Izzy: You know I love you. *GAG I need paper bag now ACKKKKK
Anyway, I asked for ingenius ideas, not stupid ones. Okay? Okay.

I'm actually feeling slightly messed up now. Don't know why.

Mmm. I think, no wait, I BELIEVE lechers should be publicly shamed. They should be stripped naked and hung on lamp posts for all to see. But then again, that could actually appease the exhibitionist side of them. SO scrap that. They should be stripped naked and castrated, and then hung UPSIDE DOWN on lamp posts! Yessa itu dia.

There was a lecher sitting next to Yana and staring at her. MOFO. Go fucking die.

Pooled just now. I feel at ease when I pool. I don't think about anything bad, just having fun and potting them balls. Another addiction I guess. The gravity of my addictions are terrifying. I hate feeling dependant, but I can't help it sometimes.

I'm turning in now. Cheers, world.

2007-10-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

Amino, I am having utmost difficulty fitting three animals around your band's crest.

He wants a garuda, lion and a tiger. Where can? Haiya.
By the way, a garuda is not a fish/eel/underwater creature. It is a bird. Yes, I was one like one of you gobloks too, I thought it was a fish.

Damn. I just realised, I've been single for ten months already. That's the longest ever larsey.

Um yah anyway.

Christine: You very random eh. Yeah I have tried brown eyeliner before. Hahas. Why?

Izzy: NO I DO NOT YOU BASKET.

Ham: HELLO HELLO. Okay. HELLO to you too. Hahas.

I woke up at one in the afternoon today. WTH? Usually I'll wake up at 9, loll around in bed and get up latest by noon. I didn't even wake up until my mum screamed at me to do so since it was already afternoon. I disgust myself sometimes.

I so badly want to pierce my lip. But how to hide from my parents? Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is the golden question. If you have an ingenius way of doing so, please, do tell me and I'll love you forever. Thanks.

Slowly, I feel my hate dissipating. But whether I can trust again, that's something else.

2007-10-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hallu hallu. My block is over. Like, YEAYNESS.

Waiting for next block to start. Can I get advance pay? I need to buy paint and brushes.

Yana: OF COURSE I will help you duh! Hahaha pay lagi two weeks, lagi two weeks can talk okehh.

Izzy: Siao. I don't do polygamy. Thanks.

2007-10-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

2007-10-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

I know it's no good for me, but somehow I just don't give a damn.

Nurul: Thanks babe :)

Seri: Hahaha, don't just squash. Castrate skali.

Ily: HAHAHA yeah I remember very well. Must use rusty knife okay. Wait, I think use parang better. K I go find.
Oh, and NO cannot burn down Adidas store! Cannot!!! I sayang Adidas.

Syaf: Caaaaan. Eh, don't hurt the smiley's feeling leh. It had no choice.

My head's throbbing. Aduh.

So's my shoulder. Maybe I should just go sleep. I foresee sleep eluding me in the (very) near future.

2007-10-21T10:00:00.001-07:00

I have this insane urge to cut my hair.

2007-10-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

I'm getting by surprisingly well on a grand total of seven hours of sleep for the past two days.

Starting to lose my patience and showing my garang side nowadays. I'm snapping at people, spitting expletives every five seconds, having violent outbursts (if you count screaming, "ALL YOU GUYS ARE FUCKERS FUCK YOU ALL! in the middle of Orchard Road as violent) and whatnots.

*sigh

Sampoerna cuts appetite like nobody's business, I swear.

2007-10-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU GUYS. Serious shit. I do.

Next block, 2D Art, 12 to 3pm. I can wake up late AND work comfortably. Lovely.

HOWEVER, next NEXT block, Typography and Layout, 9am to 12pm. Then, Creative Writing (it's my CDS), 6 to 9pm. I can cry sia my God. But that's after holidays so I guess I'll party my arse off before worrying about that.

I'm starting to read again. Thanks to Amin. I bought two books! From Kino! For sixteen bucks. It's a vintage collection of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales. And it came with a free book, The Bloody Chamber.

I love the Brothers Grimm. They're sick. I remember reading this book by them when I was a kid. I forgot the title but it was about this pair of brother and sister. The brother got kidnapped by fairies or something, then the sister went to rescue him, going on a trecherous journey blah blah. There was this scene where I got really freaked; she was trapped in a room and she had to CUT OFF her finger and use it as a key to open the door. Then she put her finger in a wine goblet to keep it safe.

Sick right? There were even illustrations ah.

Brr.

Okay I have to go now. I'll continue later, maybe. Ta!

And you, you can go die, okay? Thanks.

2007-10-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

I can't believe such scum actually exists. Stupid Fiq. You're so stupid.

2007-10-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

I wonder sometimes, why do people disappear?

There have been too many of these moments, moments when I feel that it was never meant to be, and when I feel like I've never known the person whom I put so much hope in.

Why did I put a stupid smiley face next to his name? Because I thought, you know, this was different. Such a frivolous symbol, yet it means that much.

It's been a month since I last heard from him. Or more, maybe, I don't know.

He likes to suddenly stare at me mid-sentence, and ask me to stop blinking. He says it's distracting. He likes to grab my thumb, and scratch my palm. He likes to rub my back. When he sleeps, he likes to hold my hand. He likes to feed me fries, and attempt to dance like Ne-Yo to make me laugh. He likes to say, "Oh wells." We both do, actually.

He likes to play with his lip-ring, and tell me crazy drunken stories. He tells me how kids run away when they see him in uniform. He tells me I can't smoke, I can't do this, I can't do that because "I AM the law." Then I'll sulk and he'll tell me to stop behaving like a spoilt child. Of course, he'll relent after I give him a hug.

He likes to play with my hair, my fingers, my babats. He's deprived, since he's got no babats of his own, that skinny bugger.

When we part ways, we'll hug, my head at his chest. Then he'll bend down and kiss me on the forehead and say "I'll see you soon."

Doesn't that all sound nice?

Sounds deceivingly like I have a boyfriend, but I don't. He was never mine, and I was never his.

There was an unspoken agreement between us, we'll have each other's companionship, but not the commitment. He was devoted at first, calls every night and good morning smses every morning, then they got lesser, but in a comfortable way. I understood he was tired from work.I myself was shagged from both school and work,but I still thought about him everyday.

I still do, but I'm slowly letting go. Maybe one of these days I'll give him a call. I'm trying to understand his sudden disappearence. The thought that something could have happened to him did cross my mind more than once, but I always refuted that, thinking he can very well take care of himself.

I know you're thinking, WTF bitch what are you waiting for can you go call him now?

But what if something really did happen to him? You see, I don't know if I really want to find out. Maybe I'm scared or something, I have no idea.

Is it because I'm scared of getting hurt? I'm too used to cruising on from so-called relationships relatively unharmed. Even if I do get hurt, I pick myself up quite easily, but in this case, I'm not too sure.

This is the part where I'm supposed to start tearing silently in front of the computer. This is the part where I'm supposed to cry.

Keyword: Supposed.

I can't cry anymore lah. There are people facing far more severe hardships than I am, and are they crying like a pussy? Even if they are, they are so much more deserving of an emotional breakdown than I am. Why should I cry over a guy? I know, I listed all the reasons in the previous paragraphs. But still.

Weh.

Siaks apa pasal saya tiba-tiba emoshit ni? Haiya.

Dahlah cukup lah.

2007-10-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hari Raya. Usually it goes like this.

Everybody gets emo and teary-eyed in the morning and early afternoon, then they get raucous and noisy in the late afternoon and evening, then they get sleepy and stuffed by night time.

Well. In my family anyway. Hee.

I actually said my apologies in English. Somehow saying it in Malay makes it sound very scripted and fake. You know, like, "Saya ingin mohon ampun dan maaf atas segala kesilapan saya, harap dimaaf jika tersilap kata, semoga Tuhan murahkan rezeki (insert relevant name) dan panjangkan umur (insert relevant name) BLAH de blah blah."

It just sounds nice and flowery, more like reading a poem , not asking for forgiveness, you know what I mean?

I had two miserable pieces of ketupat (which is like, half a ketupat) with sambal goreng, ayam masak merah and LOTS of sambal kacang (my bloody favouritest thing ever to eat with ketupat) and I was FULL. What a loser stomach I have.

So I went to my maternal grandfather's house (yes, the cute one) first. Actually it's not HIS house, it's my aunt's house but since he lives there, oh wells. There was only him, my elder cousin (my said aunt's daughter) and my uncle from KL.

Had brownies and lotsa those cornflake cup thingamajigs.

Then we went over to my paternal grandmother's house. Again, it's not HER house, but since blah blah you get the picture neh?

That house, I tell you, was CryCentral for a couple of hours. People were crying around me everywhere! Aper lagi ha, amek gambar. I've never seen my father so, so wrecked with emotion before seriously. Must have been something bad that went on between them. None of my business.

I didn't cry this year.

Maybe the heart stopped? Ha ha. Weh.

That was around 6ish. Remember the last meal I had? That was in the morning. I realised lunch was cornflakes and peanuts. Nonsense sia! So I had an early dinner to avoid eating later. Again, two measly pieces of ketupat and I was full. What.

Watched random sing here sing there shows on Suria, and I realise that Aliff Aziz, the kid (sweet sixteen pe, kid ah) who won Anugerah or something, is quite cute! And he has a dimple, plus he speaks with a lisp. Sungguh adorable. I realised all the kid stars on Suria have grown up (the ones in my generation anyway), and boy are some of them uglehh! Oop. Kay I am SO mean I will stop it.

Anyhoo.

I dropped by store to give Neng kuih. Hahas. I know, I'm such an angel. HAHA.

Then we headed off to my aunt's place in Yishun, chilled abit, then left for home. Reached home slightly after midnight.

Now I'm fucking dehydrated.

K lah, that's all for today folks. Ta!

2007-10-12T05:07:00.000-07:00

YEAY YEAY BESOK RAYE.

Back to eating in daylight. Haven't played bunga api larsey.

I don't feel it in my bones, like I used to, somehows.

I guess tomorrow will be just another new day.

I think he's dead.

Here I am. Blogging in defragmented sentences.

Fake tales of San Francisco echo through the room.
I don't want to hear you, kick me out, kick me out.

If only I had the strength then maybe
You could believe in something else.
If you keep asking me,
I'll melt away in the summer air.
It won't hurt half as much and I'll beg for you to stop it now.

No sleeping at night,
But I'm going from bar to bar
Why can't we just rewind.
Why can't we just rewind.

We are the angry mob,
We read the papers everyday.
We like who we like,
We hate who we hate,
But we're also easily swayed.

I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it without you.

I hope that I will never let you down,
And I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sounds.
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tyres squeal,
Red light can't stop so I spin the wheel.
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights
Close the doors and I am gone.

2007-10-08T03:21:00.000-07:00

How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone?

I wouldn't know.

Got my first bunch of flowers.

Sweet. I'm supposed to be happy, but it makes me feel worse.

2007-10-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

FUCK I'M TIRED.

Closing yesterday, pre-closing today, closing tomorrow (thanks to that Shina).

And I have an essay to hand up on Monday. And some other stuff actually, I seem to have so damn bloody much to do.

Fags, a shoulder massage and sleep. That's all I need, seriously.

2007-10-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

I can be his Jenny anytime.

2007-10-02T22:58:00.000-07:00

SBOF at Seoul Garden.

2007-09-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

I'm having a cold. Must be from all the sniffling yesterday. Wehh.

Will update soon.
Tas.

2007-09-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

I AM SO DAMN FRIGGIN SAD.

I'm sorry but the emo-ness is getting to me, I feel like jumping into the Singapore River.

What is SBOF without its mind, heart and soul? Its three supporting pillars? Its... Kay I ran out of nouns.

Why all the change, I wonder.

I found out my class got shuffled. Only Dan's in the new class I think. At least there's Seri, Sarah and Sharina. Not so bad. But still. No more Robin and Isaac. And Nuo and Manda. And everybody lah. I never got to go out on those planned trips with them. Oh wells.

I already know Boss and Fad are leaving. That's super sad. By the way, Boss is the mind, and Fad is the heart.

AND THEN RIGHT!

I find out Izzy is leaving. Izzy's the soul.

Who's going to do the clockout dance? Who's going to tell me to shut up? Who's going to rap irritatingly crude lyrics when I'm doing drinks? Who's going to make me laugh my brains out? Who's going to tell ghost stories? WHO TELL ME WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO DO ALL THAT?

Wah angry seh. Lols.

This is so unfair.

It's only been five months, and I consider SBOF my second family. How could they take three members away?

I was sitting alone at the table outside, and I seriously felt like crying. I almost did. Think I'll do that at home. Not here. It's not a good thing to cry in Starbucks. I already feel the affected-ness vibes, I don't want to add on to it by bursting into tears.

KAY KAY DAH. ENOUGH! I will stop here.

2007-09-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

Store outing rocked balls!

WOOT WOOT WOOT

Had work on Thursday morning till 4. The first attachment partner came late, but he was cute so all was forgiven. LOLS. Then Fad left and the attachment MOD came in. I tell you, he is the lepak-kest MOD I've ever met. Funny ah. Then three partners from Eastpoint (hmm, I wonder why) came and I got to clock out at four-ish.

I'm in love with Paolo Nutini.

Me and Shiks waited for Jossie and Romel. Then we cabbed to ECP. Reached in like, less than half an hour. Coolness.

I realised I haven't been to ECP in ages. I remember when the Beach Buddies ( Nas, Husna, Zahd, me ) used to be sorta regulars and cycle there. I would always eat the mee bandung at the coffee shop near the Macs. Enak sungguh.

Spotted Boss and his tents from miles away. Hahaha.

Sat at the waterbreak and took stupid emo shit photos. Then Izzy decided to be gay primadonna photographer and ordered all of us to pose for him. I had to do a Roxy shoot, which Jossie said was more like a Playboy shoot. I refuted that because I was fully clothed after all. Eh, leaning on rocks is physically daunting ah bloody hell.

Wanz drew Boss in the sand. Boss with longer hair and fins. HAHA.

Digression. FUCK I have lessons from 9am to 6pm next block. PANTATS.

Anyhoo.

Then we broke fast. Ate all sorts of nonsense. Bee hoon goreng, fish and chicken nuggets, cookies, brownies, sambal belachan, sausages, blah blah. Zul came! He ate Nasi Lemak Power (or something) that his mum bought for him. Super cute ah.

Then we played very camp-ish games, courtesy of Boss beloved. We played Pass It On (which involves passing rubber bands on toothpicks - using our mouths), Birthday (all of us squeezed on the stone bench and had to arrange ourselves in the order of which we were born), Treasure Hunt and Shrinking Island.

THE BOBS VS THE DEANS! HAHAHHAHAA. Funny sia.

It was apeshit fun ah. The Deans won in the end but it's okay! It's okay it's alright go Bobs go Bobs fight fight fight.

Then we just sat around, told ghost stories. In the end, the overnighters were me, Shiks, Yana, Nurul, Izzy, Irman, Boss, Neng, and Fish. Nice cozy group. Played card games, finished off the food.

WE GOT ASSAULTED BY A STORM. Survived it due to our Black Hawk Down-ish efforts. Boss ah! Nonsense.

FREAKING COLD I was shivering right up to my teeth.

Pictures soon. Kay? I have to resize them. Sorreh.

I'm going to miss Fad and Boss. Seriously.

Reached home at 10am. After our (Yana, Izzy, Irman and me) futile efforts to hail a cab, I called and finally got through after 10 " Sorry, our customer service lines are all busy. Please hold on and we will attend to you shortly. " and three full songs. GRAHHHH.

Took two Panadol Extras to knock myself out and prevent any flu bug from soaking in the rain, woke up at 5 and got ready for work. Closing mah.

Thought Fish bubbled us, but he turned up in the end.

Fad, don't be too stressed lah. Keep singing!

And I'm happy. Four consecutive nights, he called.

That's all. Photos next. Cheers.

2007-09-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

My toe is feeling so SO SOOOO much better I feel like bending down and kissing it. But I can't reach so it's okay.

Today was a relatively okay day for a whole-freaking-day-at-home-day. I've been sitting at home since Sunday okay! And that is something. For me anyway. And trust me, I still don't see the appeal of sitting and stoning at home.

You know yesterday I was feeling all emo right.

Well, I'm okay now. Because he called. Somehow he knows exactly when to make things better. Annoying as that may be. Oh wells.

Anyhoo. These are the people I miss:

SYAFS. We must go shopping after my pay and after your promos. If not shopping, just a session of catching up. Okay? Okay.

SARAH. What telah happen to Dead Silence daaaaa.

The whole Tasty Bunch actually. I haven't seen Han in ages, and I have no idea what is going on in Shahida's or Atiqah's life.

ASHIKIN. I know I'll be seeing you tomorrow but I haven't seen you in three days so I miss you can.

SBOF PIRATES. Because I haven't been to store in three days.

HANIF. What. I miss the bugger's nonsense. Hahas.

See, this is what happens when you coop me up at home. I start missing people.

Well, that's it. Cheers.

2007-09-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

The toe's feeling slightly better. Therefore I shall not emo today. I shall watch Whose Line Is It Anyway vids on YouTube! Yeayness!

Didn't sleep yesterday. Spent the night laughing instead. Which explains my slightly desperate wide-awakeness today.

No, he hasn't called in three nights. It's okay. I'm used to it. Shrugging it off is probably the easiest and least painful thing to do. I hate not caring ( I mean, what if something happened to him and I don't know? ), but caring is exactly the damn thing that hurts.

So it's back to the drawing board for now. Back to the stupid, Uh hi I'd really like to get to know you moments. Hahs.

Do I sound bitter? I don't know.

Oh wells. That's our favourite phrase by the way.

STOP BEING EMO BITCH. I swear I'll bitchsmack myself. Geez.

SYAFIQ I AM NOT A SOFTIE.

. . .

I've been meaning to take home a Venti cup of bar mocha to bake brownies with, but looking at my toe (looks down at said pathetic toe), NAHH. But no worries, I'm still baking brownies for store outing on Wednesday. Like, lots of them.

I have yet to bake white chocolate brownies. With oreo cookie chunks. FUYOOOO.

Okay stop. Fasting month. Stop stop stop.

6 more hours. Okay can. Cheers.

2007-09-23T01:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a monstrosity of a tragedy maligned my right big toe.

Wah. Drama seh.

I was drawing on the Daily Offerings board in store (it is seriously very heavy) an hour before buka. Then when I was done with it, I carried it to the backroom so one of the guys can go put it up. Since it was very heavy, I had some difficulty putting it down onto the floor. Horrors, it slipped from my fingers and LANDED ON MY RIGHT FOOT OKAY.

Remember the chalkboard days in primary school? Okay, imagine a quarter of that chalkboard breaking off and falling on your foot as you stand unsuspectingly in front of it.

You know in teevee when something heavy falls on somebody's foot and he hops around in pain? And it's supposed to be funny?

WELL IT'S NOT. AT ALL.

Because that was exactly what I was doing, except I was screaming stuff that shouldn't be broadcasted on daytime teevee. I mean, at first it was all numb, then when the pain comes, you just start screaming. I didn't realise it, but tears were streaming down my face. Like, so TAK GLAM AH. Seriously.

Then I laughed it off and finally had dinner.

SAKIT GILER SEH. Now the poor toe is bruised and swollen. I tell you, the walk home felt like it lasted forever. No kidding. I felt damn vulnerable ah, like if somebody dragged me off somewhere I won't be able to fight back. Hahs.

And today I'm at home. And I'm bored and feeling emo. Why must this happen to me?

I look at my toe and think, What wrong have I done?

HAHAHAHA FIQ EMO SIA. Stop it to the moshpit seh.

Watched Silent Hill on DVD alone (pretty much, the brothers were preoccupied with the computer) and I am freaked out. It was freaking gory can! I like the cinematography though, like how the line between reality and gameworld was blurred. There were scenes which look like they came straight out of the game.

The zombies on fire weren't so bad, the cleaner was freaky, the dude with the big sword and what he did to the "Lies! Filth!" girl (he skinned her alive with one pull from the chest) was freaky, the nurses were freaky, everything was freaky lah!

But the policewoman was damn hot. Haha. Ahem. But what happened to her was sad.

The final part was the best, in all its gory glory. The barbed wire, the blood, the freaky kid. I mean, people were being torn apart and there were pieces of human flesh on the floor and she was prancing around. WTH? SICK AH. I find it interesting, barbed wire as a revenge weapon. I mean, she could have just burnt everyone in one big fireball, but no, she chose to pierce everybody with barbed wire to ensure maximum bloodshed and prolonged death. Awesome.

And how Silent Hill turns into permanent purgatory when darkness falls is just cool ah. In a grossly sadistic way. I tell you I screamed like mad when the cleaner came to life. Whatshisname? Oh yeah, Colin. Brrr.

Am still feeling slightly emo. Yes, because of the toe.

Oh wells. Guess that's it for now. Take care of your toes people.

2007-09-19T23:27:00.001-07:00

Fasting has done nothing for my pursuit of weight loss. Okay, maybe a little bit lah. But that's not the whole point of fasting right. Today shall be the first day that I break fast with my family. I haven't been at home because of work (closing for three consecutive nights seriously messes you up) and work, and more work. Oh wells.

It's nice breaking fast at work, as one big OF family.

I must not forget the family that I already have though. I remember when we used to have dinner together as a family practically every night. That was normal dinner. Breaking fast at home was an absolute must, I was only allowed the two or three times I broke fast outside with friends.

Family outings were not uncommon. We used to go for breakfast every Sunday, then go bowling at Bukit Panjang Plaza before visiting my maternal grandfather. When my late grandma was still around, we would have breakfast/lunch/dinner at their place (one of the ancient blocks at Hillview, they're all gone now and replaced with green fields, I think they're building a condo on it or something) and basically spend the whole day there.

Sometimes we'd go to Pasir Ris Park for picnics, or cycling. I remember when my Dad first taught me how to cycle, I banged into a lamp post. Haha. Then I lay groaning on the ground, refusing to get up. Paiseh already mah. Then he would buy all of us ice-cream from those vans in the carpark, and we'd sit on the pavement in a row and eat. That was a long time ago.

An even longer time ago, I remember we used to go kite-flying. I was just a small kid back then. I only remember we were at this huge open field with a big drain next to it. I also remember when Disney came to Singapore and they had this huger than huge tent set up, and when you went in, you forget that you're actually in a big open field in Singapore. There was a stage with seats on the ground, and Mickey and whoever else were prancing around on stage. My mum bought me a pretzel, I got to hug Mickey, then the kids went wild at this huge playground with feature rides and whatnot. I still remember this very vividly actually.

Chalets were a must every year. This was when the whole family from my Dad's side would come together and rent a big chalet and do chalet stuff. My mum would organise games, the Dads would sit around, BBQ and eat. The kids would be running around and screaming. Yeah.

Now? I'm never home (I do realise that this is a problem, but I can't help it), I have no idea what my family's schedules are, I don't really know what's going on in my brothers' lives (except that one is taking his PSLE this year), I haven't had a nice chat with my mother in so long, I somehow feel vaguely disjointed from the family.

It doesn't help that school and work take up most of my time, and I'm not the type to sit at home because I'll feel extremely restless (like I.MUST.GO.OUT) and irritable. Even when I'm home, I'm usually caught up with schoolwork.

Soon, my brothers will grow up and turn out exactly like me. Actually I don't know if they'll turn out like me. Lols. What I do know is that they will be able to take care of themselves, like I'm taking care of myself now, because we were all brought up to be independant and self-reliant. My 9-year-old brother is schooling in Aljunied, which is miles away from home, and even though he takes transport to and fro, there will be a time when he has to travel on his own.

The twelve-year-old is doing fine on his own, going to school and coming back safe and sound all by himself. He is intelligent, and might be the one to surpass his sister academically. Come on, straight As for tests. Like, what the hell. If he beats my PSLE aggregate, I will be SO DAMN proud of him ah! Then he can finally step out of his siblings' shadows, being the middle child and often the misfit.

The fourteen-year-old (who looks like he's eighteen bloody hell) is grappling with school, teenager issues blah blah. Normal. I'm just glad he's not mixing with bad company. If he is I will smack his head. He's the one I'm closest to, because we can more or less relate to each other. That said, of course there are things we don't tell each other. I'm just glad he knows how to respect me as his elder sister.

One thing I'm happy about is I rarely have arguments with my brothers now. There used to be screaming matches, things thrown at each other, that kind of thing, but it's all ceased to happen. They still raid my room, but not as badly as before, and sometimes they still annoy me.

Now why did I blog about this again. Oh yah.

Yesterday I did closing with Fad and Izzy. Fad was telling us that his mum was pressuring him to 'settle down' and he's getting all stressed up because he's happy the way he is now. Poor guy. Then we started talking about our families. HAHAHA what a thing to be talking about with, of all people, Fad and Izzy.

Me, Izzy and Wan from LT were left stranded at United Square waiting for the North van. Took so damn bloody long. We were sitting on the pavement with a group of drunk Indian men across the road from us and the 7-11 guys hollering " EH! Tak balik kepe? " at us. Oh wells.

Izzy asked me a question I couldn't answer. " So why are you still not attached? " " ... uh.. " Got me thinking though.

Today I woke up at 2 freaking pm. My sleeping pattern is seriously effed up right now.

I guess that's it for today. Cheers.

Oh darling, you're a million ways to be cruel.

2007-09-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

I hate puking.

Sorry for the non-activity here, I've been oh-so-busy. Heh heh. With what, I don't know.

Sad! Boss is abandoning us for Suntec Convention. What is SBOF without him? Hmm. Guess we'll just have to find out. And he's bringing Fadzil with him. *sobs*

Store meeting on Tuesday was a blast, what with the numerous coffee tastings and nonsense, and Boss not saying much about the crappy snapshot. The ending was the sweetest, with a dinner treat at Seoul Garden larsey! On Boss larsey! Needless to say, I had great fun, laughing my brains out, stuffing myself to the gills, watching Shikin kiss Josc. LOLS. I shall not elaborate on that.

Thursday was like, Movie Day.

I watched Hairspray with Sarah (thanks for the treat dear) and it was awesome. Partly (a very big part) thanks to James Marsden who is SO FRIKKING HOT in a 60s suit, dancing and singing. My God. The movie is just fantastic, despite the stereotypes involved and the rather idealistic ending, the songs and choreography more than make up for it. Any scene involving the black people were eye-openers, I must add. It's awesome lah, just go watch it now. Go!

At night I watched 1408 with Kin, Amin, Josc, Imah and Izzy. The movie was not TOO bad. Some parts were freaky but most of it just made me go whatthefeck? The later part of the movie just threw me off balance (and not in a good way) and I was lost. If you don't know what it's about, it's about an evil hotel room fucking around with people till they go crazy and commit suicide in the most gruesome manners possible. Enter a cynical author who insists on staying the night, and he manages to defeat the room after a couple of hours of nonsensical circumstances involving the somewhat supernatural.

I am depressed because I cannot go for FFAF. HUH.

2007-09-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

I've had the most fantastically long weekend, totalling five days (Thursday to Monday), and I'm feeling good.

Never mind that I am way behind schedule for my final assignment.

Anyhoo. Slacked in town on Thursday and laughed my ass off with Kin and company. For the first time ever, I woke up at one in the afternoon due to spring cleaning at store the morning before. Reached home at five am and zonked out. I got woken up by loudass thunder, and despite being shagged like nobody's business, I dragged my sorry ass out to town.

Went back to ASS on Friday. Me and Shikin were probably the first ex-Andersonians to reach, DUH at 8 am in the morning? Hello? Saw many people, watched the lame concert (save for 5/1's item which rocked balls) and lunched with Syafs and Kin. Of course, I had to be the loser who has work on a Friday night. Hahahas.

Saturday was AWESOME.

Guess who dropped by SBOF? Four members of the Heroes cast larsey! And I was at POS! I took Masi Oka's order (a Grande Raspberry Blackcurrant Frappucino), the cop dude (a triple espresso con panna), the blonde woman with superhuman powers (a regular coffee), LIKE WTF MAN. The Indian guy was there too, but he didn't order anything. Oh wells.

I repeat, LIKE WTF MAN.

Me, Nurul and Boss were in shock. Hahahs. Hell, I'm STILL in shock.

After all the hullaballoo, I went to collect my digicam! I have my own camera now people!

*jumps around*

It's no DSLR, but it's 8.3 megapixels and a steal at 350 bucks, so I'm happy.
Then I met up with Yana, Zoo and Ard for phototaking. Had awesome fun with you guys <3

Yesterday (or rather, today morning) was, well, I can't seem to be able to put it in words.

All I know is I'm one happy person. So's he. *wink wink*

2007-08-28T19:54:00.001-07:00

Why do you like,
To hurt so much?
That's what you get
When you let your heart win.

They taped over your mouth,
Scribbled out the truth with their lies,
Your little spies.
We're all alone now,
I need something to sing about.

No I don't think you're ready,
If you are then say this with me girl,
We were born for this.

You got my heart in a headlock,
You stopped the blood and made my head soft.
And God knows,
You've got me sewn.

I am bored, hungry and annoyed because my jeans keep falling down half my butt. Anyone got spare belt?

Humming random songs in my head.

And I know this much is true,
Baby you,
Have become my addiction.

2007-08-25T05:15:00.000-07:00

Work yesterday sucked. I mean, work itself doesn't suck, it's just that the crowd was damn effed up yesterday. Sure we welcome crowds, but when the crowds are selfish and inconsiderate, it can really take its toll.

Yesterday I worked from 4 till closing, supposedly to cover for Syaf but she, being the lovely dear that she is, ended up staying as well. She was supposed to study for her CMC, but she couldn't squeeze in anymore so she pitched in for closing. So did Jossie. Love them both.

Anyway, what pissed me off was the condition of the store, especially the al fresco area, at around 11ish, nearing closing. It was, to put it kindly, disgusting.

I went out to do bussing and was visually assaulted by practically every unoccupied table occupied with plastic cups, mugs, trays and plates, and miscellaneous garbage (like sugar puddles, spills, sticky straws and stirrers, crumbs/lumps of wet food, cigarettes whatever). I mean, the tables were overflowing with things, like, my God.

Plus, some customers decided to treat the store like their father's house and drag chairs and tables all over the damn place and leave them like that. SO RUDE CAN.

I have no problem with you taking a few chairs or joining two tables together to accommodate a big group but the bloody least you can do is put them bloody back together right? Or if not, don't leave such a freaking hugeass mess lah! Bloody fuck.

What do you guys do with your food seriously? Throw pieces of cheesecake or muffin at each other? Make sugar snow? Are you customers or animals?

I think I spent about twenty minutes clearing everything. I tried to arrange all the tables and chairs but I gave up after realising my attempts were futile because the other customers were sitting on the missing chairs/using the missing chairs as bag/feet rests.

I think we should make it a rule for people to dispose of their own rubbish after patronising any cafe or whatever. As long as it is disposable, throw it away. If it's a plate or a mug, then never mind, just leave it there. I was just so damn annoyed that people actually felt comfortable just leaving such a huge mess at a public place. It's not just simply leaving cups and plates on the table, it's like Let's Get Creative With Our Garbage Time!

Let's take ten sachets of sugar per drink (doesn't matter what drink it is, we're not going to put it in our drinks anyway), as many straws and stirrers as we can, grab a bunch of serviettes, and oh, don't forget the five cups of ice water (my favourite!). Then let's grab another table and as many chairs as we can (one for my bag and another for my feet, and maybe another just for fun), play around with our food (make sugar castles and have a crumb generating competition), linger around for at least three to five hours and not give a damn that the place is closing in five minutes, basically must make as huge a mess as possible (oh, don't forget to leave all the chairs and tables in their random positions), assuming the baristas have superhuman strength and stamina to handle our crap as well as clean up after us.

Sounds like a fantastic plan! Woohoo!

Chee. Uglyass customers.

Of course I'm not referring to each and every customer as uglyass, some are nice enough to return plates and whatnot.

But the others. Oh wells.

Just wanted to bitch about that for abit. Good night everybody.

2007-08-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love it when you've put on your eyeliner and jeans and you find plans cancelled on you?

*am in a stormy mood*

First, I was supposed to go picnicking with my classmates. I woke up and I find that none of them have called or smsed to tell me of the plans, since yesterday night. Okaaay. Then, I was supposed to meet The Tasty Bunch for a *eeks* study date, despite me having absolutely no studying to do haha. So I thought since everybody's going to be there, finally, I will go for the sole reason of seeing everybody together.

Then Sarah smsed me saying she left her handphone in a cab so she can't make it. Then Han said she probably couldn't make it either because her extra lessons starts early. Then I smsed Atiqah and Shahidah, and both haven't replied me till now. Thanks ah.

Oh wells.

I should have bloody worked. Sorry Shikin.

I'm not pissed, I'm just like, today is supposed to be my off day (no school, no work) and I have no plans. Rotting at home is not one of my favourite activities. So. Yah.

Oh wells.

I think I'll download Illustrator and play around with vectors (no, not the Physics thing). I think I've found interest in vector art. Hmms.

I miss him. Pantat.

Suddenly I'm craving for potong ice-cream. ??? Okay when the uncle comes with his ice-cream cart, I will buy.

Okay Yana just corrected me. It's ice cream potong lah! Haha. Thanks babe.

I'm too damn lazy to blog anymore. Till later, if I feel like continuing. Hehs.

2007-08-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO FREAKING GO FOR FFAF. Can somebody pay for my tickets? I swear I'll love you forever.

Work later. No school today. I'm happy the block is over. Hasn't been a good one for me.

Bracing myself for hugeass crowds at work. Again. Because of the fireworks festival. Gahh.

Gosh why am I typing so abruptly?

Okay anyway yesterday was a real nice day. Met up with Sarah and Han for a movie date! I haven't watched a movie in ages. Me and Sarah were planning to force Atiqah and Shahidah along when we sat at Jupiter Cafe on Wednesday. Simply because the five of us haven't had an outing together, with everyone present, since the chalet I think. And that was when seh. There's always people missing. Hohum.

In the end, it was just me, Sarah and Han. We watched Rush Hour 3, which was freaking hilarious. Made me choke on my popcorn. I only hope there's no Rush Hour 4 though, I can see the age creeping up on the both of them. I actually feel scared for Jackie when he does his stunts, not like in the previous Rush Hours when I go WOOT GO JACKIE YEAHHH! Oh wells.

We wanted to watch the 1.40 one at Cineleisure, but Han turned up late (so what's new? HAHA) and she suggested catching the 2.20 one at PS. Me and Sarah wanted to watch the 3.40 one at Cineleisure and make Han skip her extra lessons. Nyahaha. I mean, seriously, extra lessons at 6 in the evening? Bloody hell. I kept thinking it was a Friday because I had no proper lessons, plus, I wasn't working.

Me and Sarah walked to PS, and bumped into this doughnut shop somewhere along the way, and the doughnuts bear an extreme likeness to Donut Factory's. After swearing we'd come back because we simply couldn't make up our minds, we walked on.

After the movie, we went back. HAHA! I bought a box of 6 to share. But we were so full from Yoshi that we decided to walk to One Fullerton. From Dhoby Ghaut. It was an okay distance since I've acquired a newfound love for walking to almost anywhere in the town area, but poor Sarah was shagged. Lol. Oh wells.

Then we sat at store and stoned till 9ish. Ahhh. Lovely.

Okay bye.

2007-08-12T04:50:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been such a whirl.

Thursday was so utterly and completely insane I can't even begin to describe the level of insanity involved. It was National Day, as you all should know, and I was doing opening. People were coming in at 8 in the morning to chope seats and I'm like, Are you all okay??

I was bracing myself for crowds, and the slam started at 4ish. I was doing Frappuccinos, and I was all alone out there. Haha. I think I had a dozen drinks to make at any one time and I tell you I was so goddamn lost.

But the real crowd came at 5ish, and that was when all hell broke loose in SBOF. The line snaked all the way out of the store, the area outside was so jam packed we couldn't even move to do bussing, the back room was congested due to tied up rubbish bags because we couldn't do a trash run. Like, my God.

I was supposed to clock out at 3, but I ended up staying till 7 because of the crowd. STOP IT WITH THE ICE WATER PEOPLE. I mean, honestly, can't you freaking SEE that there's a long line and we probably (no, really) have no time to take your stupid ice water for you?

My various reactions; " OH you want WHAT? ICE WATER? OKAY SURE! (in a hysterically happy voice while grinning manically) "

" I'm sorry I can't hear you! (goes back to whatever I was doing in the first place) "

" HUH? Oh Okay (mumbles incoherently and wanders off)... "

" (smiles benignly while ignoring request) " I only do this if the customer is damn rude and pisses me off. Lol.

" (takes ice cubes and throws it at customer) " This one is fake. Haha.

I say, if customers say service in Singapore has a long way to go, the customers themselves have a long way to go in being gracious patrons. By being demanding and rude, they are only just demeaning and contradicting themselves by saying " Service in Singapore sucks. "

To them, ice water might be a small thing, but to us, it is a plastic cup wasted, a bunch of ice cubes wasted and precious seconds wasted! They don't pay anything for ice water, but we sacrifice time and stock which could be better used elsewhere, i.e for customers who order drinks.

What's worse, they ask for three or four cups at a time! That's fantastic! It's not like we have an ice water dispenser, we only have one filtered water dispenser on the floor and it is damn freaking slow so pardon us if we seem abit pissed that you ask for ice water.

LMAO. Sorry. I'm imagining the customers' reactions if I really throw ice cubes at them. HAHA! It'll be like Coyote Ugly, when a guy asks for water and gets sprayed with a water jet. Only this time it's more painful since the customer not only wants water, but ICE water. Hah.

Anyway, horrors, we ran out of straws! Of all things to run out of! Boss took a bunch of straws from Black Angus, and sent me off to the rescue. I had to battle through the throng at City Hall MRT to get to the Starbucks at Raffles City with a stupid bar mocha stain on my white polo tee (thank God I brought my cardigan) to get a big bag full of straws. I felt so noble.

When I came back the crowd was still going strong. I wish I could say the same about my legs. I couldn't feel them anymore and my stomach was aching real bad as I only had a measly bagel for the whole day. The police had cordoned off the whole One Fullerton area so people who came after 6 couldn't enter and were stuck right outside Starbucks. HAHA! I actually had to show my partner's card as proof that I was working there. As if the straws weren't enough.

Poor Sarah got stuck, but she finally managed to enter via another route. I finally punched out and sat down with Sarah and Shahidah. Thank you dears, for coming down. I wanted Han and Atiqah to be there too, so it would be like old times. It has been eons since we all went out as a bunch. Miss you guys.

Too bad I didn't see the boats. I'm sure you did fine honey.

The fireworks were beautiful.

After the whole thing, the place looked like a freaking warzone can! LITTER ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE bloody hell. Check out Sarah's blog for pics.

The poor bushes were trampled, there was newspapers strewn all over the ground, food packets all over the place, the dustbins were overflowing. The cleaners were having a field day picking them all up.

I must admit though, it was an enriching experience. I lost weight from all the running around. Haha!

Saturday was. Wells. Lovely.

Spent the night (and morning) with Hanif. It's been a while since I've found someone whose sole company I can enjoy.

I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to

To make you mine

Stay with me tonight

But the one little ducky with a feather on its back

He ruled the others with a

quack quack quack

quack quack QUACK!

Didn't feel like going home at all. Yes yes, but then again since when do I feel like going home. I know.

Amin was supposed to shoot me today, but the poor guy's down with flu. Take care monster.

So I stayed at home, hummed to myself, and freaking completed my assignments lar sey! *pats myself on back*

"I just called to ask you what're you doing."

No hello, no nothing. Just a " Do you miss me? "

Pantat.

2007-08-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry call I'm desperate for your voice

Listening to the song we used to sing In the car, do you remember Butterfly, Early Summer

It's playing on repeat,

Just like when we would meet

Like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine

Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh

I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh

Cause every breath that you will take when you are sitting next to me will bring life into my deepest hopes,

What's your fantasy? (What's your, what's your...)

I was born to tell you I love you and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine

Stay with me tonight

Your Call by Second Serenade

A song is so much sweeter when someone says, " It's for you. "

2007-08-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

It is high time I post something up here, so I will do it! Instead of doing my assignments of course.

I overslept by 18 minutes today, and I still managed to get ready in a record time of twenty minutes. *pats myself on the back* But I am paying a heavy price for the haste : I fucking forgot to bring my purse. DAMNIT. And it's payday. DAMNIT. I just need my NETS card! That's all! It's the saddest situation ever, having money you can't spend. GAHH.

The past week's been okay.
Except that I've been coughing non-stop since two weeks ago. But I'm better now.

Missed Baybeats, for something so much better. Spent Friday night with Hanif. We walked along Singapore River, sat down outside ACM and talked shit. Haha! What's even better, we did it again on Saturday night.

Experienced my first slam on Saturday. It was the final preview before National Day itself, except that there were no fireworks but people still thought there were so they came in droves to One Fullerton (only to be disappointed muaahahah). Not that I've never experienced a slam before, but that was the first time I got thrown headfirst into it you know what I mean?

Plus, I was sick. Bleah.

I got pissed off at the start of the shift by you know who (the one who didn't switch on the bloody ice machine in the morning and asked Izzy to 'look into it'). I was supposed to stay in the backroom and do prepwork, go bussing, do dishwashing, those kind of things since I was sick, but I found myself doing Frapps suddenly, and BAM we got hit by the crowd at around 6ish, all the way to TEN O CLOCK AT NIGHT.

The crowd was relentless man. What with the ice running out, the morons asking for ice water and whatnot. I actually turned down a few, but I didn't exactly go, " Uh no you can't have ice water." I just said, " Our filtered water is very slow, " while giving a look that completes it with a " so if you have some sense please go away and stop fucking asking for filtered water thank you very nice. " LOL!

I was supposed to end at nine, then got extended to 9.30ish (got me ABIT pissed since I was supposed to meet Hanif) then I made my last drink and got the hell out of there.

I'm doing opening on Thursday, then meeting up with my darlings after. Can't wait.

Can't wait for Saturday either :)

2007-08-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

I made that okay. Out of nothing but clay. Hah.

Oh wells.

I'm starting to hate school more and more, because of this godforsaken block. The crappiest subject I have ever taken in my life, also known as Visual Presentation Essentials, has made me hopelessly broke.

IT IS DAMN STUPID OKAY AND I AM DAMN FUCKING PISSED

First off, we have to purchase mounting boards every fucking lesson, and it's not A4 or A3 but A2 and A1 sizes. Do you know how expensive they are? Go to the bookshop and see. Go! And we have to buy at least two every lesson, so we'll spend about 10 bucks every lesson, plus additional materials like cutter, cutting mat, T square, set square, steel ruler, and whatever else.

Then, what do we do to these precious mounting boards? We cut them up into squares!

Yes, that's right. CUT. THEM. UP.

And it's alot harder than you think actually ( I found this out the hard way, I mean, how difficult can cutting ten 10cm by 10cm squares be right? FUCKING difficult, that's how), because the squares have to be exactly identical, no irregularities whatsoever and it is so frustrating I want to cry.

Hai. Seriously.

I skipped lessons too many times already and I am faaaaaar behind. The most recent purchase we have had to make was a compressed board which costs 8 freaking bucks for an A2. Merepek seh.

Other than that, life is good. I think. *grins stupidly*

I wonder if we're moving too fast. Oh wells. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I don't want history to repeat itself. Like it always does.

I'm having a super bad sore throat. Pray my voice doesn't go away please thank you. No worries, Hacks will save the day! Woot!

I want CPR.

2007-07-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

Can I not go to school tomorrow?

I'm not really enjoying this block because Visual Presentation Essentials is crappy beyond belief, and 3D Art Fundamentals is nonsense because 1) I suck at sculpture, 2) KJ is SUCH a nonsense person. I feel like grabbing his little ponytail and ripping it off.

Friday was...

AWESOME.
AWESOME.
AWESOMMMMMMEEEEE.

Having school in the morning did nothing to dampen my mood. Well, except that I left my ticket at home. Kwang kwang.

Ticket to what eh.

FORCE VOMIT LAH SIAL.

All I can say is, I was left high for AGES after that. Jumped around like a crazy fool after taking photos with the band.

Saturday was...

Good. I'm sure those who know, know exactly why. Yes Yana, thanks for announcing. Hahas.

*suppresses a squeal of sheer joy*

Gahh. I really want to blog more, but I'm just too tired. K bye people.

2007-07-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

Saturday was...

I don't know, it left me happy yet slightly discontented. He talked to me lalalalala! I should have asked for his name.
But this is good, it shows that I have moved on.

I was thinking in the bus just now, in my half-asleep stupor. Thinking about alot of things.

Atiqah honey visited! I haven't seen her in AGES I tell you and I really miss the girl. What wouldn't I give for a reunion with the girls. So did Syafs and Zahd (who were both lamenting on the inconveniences of being attached), love you people.

I hope things smoothen out at work. I don't like work politics, and I don't ever want to get involved and let it affect the whole work environment. Plus, it's scary when Boss gets pissed off.

The fireworks were like whoaaa. Especially the last few bursts of pink, purple and gold. Spectacular.

It was Yana's birthday. Somebody's eighteen already! Two more years and your teenhood will be over. Haha so enjoy it while you can before people start harassing you to get married.

I hope he comes again.

Sunday was...

BLEAH. I was attached to SB Central @ Clarke Quay, which is a great place. The bleah part was I got my period and there were no sanitary napkins anywhere. Grahhhhh.

My shoes were unapproved because they had yellow stripes (clever me left my shoes at store the night before) so my so-called punishment was to go sampling Azuki three freaking times INSIDE the mall. Telor betol.

I got harassed by guys in orange tees begging me to apply for OCBC debit cards. Uh, if I had the money to spend in the first place, then maybe I would consider. Right now, a debit card is the LAST thing I should apply for.

Then I went to store. I walked all the way, and my feet were killing me! YiLong and his classmates were there. Amin was there! Smacked him all we could before he left for Tokyo. He's probably ogling hot Jap chicks right this second.

Yesterday was...

Tiring as hell. Did closing ( I know, on a school night ) with Nurul and I was coughing like nobody's business. Hai.

I get these insane coughing fits, and I actually cry because of them. And it's damn fucking embarassing. I actually fear for my contact lens, I mean, what if they like pop out or something you know?

So I was locking up the chairs and tables outside and this big group of Chinese tourists suddenly come over. They started talking to me in Chinese ( I assumed they were asking me if we were still open ) so I said " We are closed. "

Simple enough? Nope.

They started pulling the chairs and tried to sit on them. But they can't because I've locked up the chairs right. I said, " I already locked the chairs, so you can't sit here sorry! "

They sat ON the tables. -.-'

Bodoh macam telor!

Irritate me at one in the morning! While locking chairs! ( as I found out just yesterday, a surprisingly strenuous exercise )

But IT'S OKAY. I'm used to tourists, I REALLY AM woohoo!

Can't wait for 27th.

2007-07-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

I am grumpy!

Having a BAD BAD BAD cough. It is so bad, I puked my Ramly burger out! I never puke nice food out okay. But I just did in the morning and it was so disgusting, I didn't attempt to eat anything else for the whole day until... my brother brought home hor fun.

I had a teeny bit and felt like puking again.

BAHHH.

I'm tired of coughing. My head feels like it's going to explode with every cough and my stomach is EMPTY but it feels so bloated from all the water I've been drinking. Okay so it's not empty, but you know what I mean.

I vowed to myself that I would stay at home for three days straight to finish my A2 drawing. I successfully cooped myself up at home on Tuesday, BUT I didn't have any A2 paper on me so I couldn't start on the drawing. So I was pissbored.

I was DYING to go out on Wednesday, no thanks to Amin, but I fended him off (cheh). At first. I just couldn't get my hands on a piece of A2 paper without having to travel all the way to school so off to school I went. That was a circumstantial choice okay. I intended to get the paper and quickly run off home, but knowing me, I started on the damn thing because I felt so anxious looking at Lays, YT and Robin drawing.

I left school at around 8ish. Design is scary at night. No, really.

My throat better get better tomorrow lah!

Today I stayed at home to finish up the drawing. I destroyed three drawing pens *boohoo* in the process of doing so and the result is... Abit disappointing actually. I think I got frustrated because I kept coughing and coughing and getting up to go to the toilet every 20 minutes and in the end I was like, GRAHHHRRRHHH.

But what's done is done. There's no way in hell am I going to redo the bloody thing so yeah.

I just realised, if Taufiq joins SB-OF, it's going to get really confusing. When people say 'Fiq', both of us are so going to respond lah! I still get confused when people mention Syaf. They mean Syafiqah, not me, but I STILL GET CONFUSED because my friends outside call me Syaf. Mati.

Lol!

*imagining the whole situation and laughing to myself*

Ahem, anyway, tomorrow is the last day of the block so I can slack my ass off during the weekend! Yahay! I'm going to have to lug a shitload of stuff to school tomorrow just for submission, and more stuff for work. Bleh.

I can BET you I'm going to get C's and below for HisGD and DrawEss. You want to bet?? Cannot, since betting is HARAM.

I think the cough's getting to me.

K bye.

2007-07-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

My cough's getting worse.

STOP IT WITH THE TECHNO! Apparently somebody has decided to set up a pasar malam in his house and is blaring bad techno music since noon. I cannot draw with bad music. So I'm blogging.

Before that I got woken up by the karung guni's horn, after which somebody karaoke'd their way in Cantonese/Hokkien from eleven to noon, then the techno took over. And I'm having a bleddy headache. Can they please kindly shut the fuck up.

I have no lessons today till Thursday! Yahay!

Sunday I got attached to Vivocity. Opening. I woke up at 6.30 and arrived half an hour late. A LaMarzocco, again! So, predictably, I got POS. People were streaming in at 9am in the morning, and I'm like, are all these people seriously okay or not?

AND WEY WHY DO I SMELL SHIT??

Kay sorry.

Yana came in at 10, and she unfortunately got Bar, so she had to battle with the LaMar.
Around 11ish, people started pouring in and it got crazy as hell. I tried taking my time with the payment and food and stuff, and I think I did okay; there weren't any pissed off customers (though there was this pukimak haram who was upset that her drink took slightly longer than she expected and her face was like, well, a pukimak haram).

I hate people who come in and think their money is of such high value. As if we can't make business without them. You know, the kind who look at you like "You're just a lowly barista so be thankful I am even speaking to you if this was a Third World country I will make you kiss my feet."

They speak like they have a cactus shoved up their asses, and they just throw the money on the counter, like oh, 50 bucks is nothing to me, I bet it's half your monthly pay right. No thankyou, no how are you, no oh it's okay. Just a cold stare and maybe a sharp 'Yes' or so.

These people can go fuck off thank you.

Hello, you are just paying by paper money lor! Think you so bigshot isit hah?

Phssssshh. Even the people who pay by credit card are nicer.

Anyway, I broke a plate there. Haha! It was by accident I swear! Then I dropped a cookie. I think it was Fiq's Clumsy Day lah.

I love the partners there. Hello to Syidah, Hazwani, Sam and Nad! Despite the unrelenting crowd, me and Yana pulled through (cheh) and we were famished so we ate at Banquet.
Chicken Cutlet noodles rock balls.

Then we went into Candy Empire (BIG mistake) and I blew 20 bucks on the pick and mix chocolates. I know right.

Then we went back to store!
Amin was sleeping in the back room. It was scary. I thought he was talking on the phone or something, but no, he was snoring. And I was damn scared. Ahhh okay he's going to smack me if he reads this haha!

Yana and me were both extremely bored (or in Yana's words: MENDAK SIOL),and she knows why haha!

Went home slightly earlier than when I would have gone if there was no freaking HisGD journal to finish. Bodoh macam telor.

The techno's still going on, and the headache's getting worse.

So I handed in an extremely nonsensical HisGD journal yesterday. HisGD is, well, history! Okay lame.

Met Taufiq, haven't seen him in ages. He can't whistle for nuts! Haha!

SB-OF Barista Olympics!

Boss came back from Aussie, and I kind of miss his nonsense. He seemed happier. Haha!
My team got third, but it's okay. The medals are super nice. Champions get polo tees, daymn.

Then we all went to Lau Pa Sat, but not before scaring some poor partner at the Starbucks right behind Lau Pa Sat by pressing against the glass and staring at him. Haha!!

I ate too much. Grahhhs. They were selling adorable little ice balls for 10cents each! 10 cents man, where the heck can you actually purchase anything for 10cents in Singapore?? Hmmm??

BBQ chicken wings + satay + carrot cake + butter sotong = bliss (albeit a fatty and oily bliss that is)

Okay, back to work. My Drawing Essentials final project is due on Friday, and I still haven't done up my folio and sketchbook. I have have have to stop procrastinating, seriously my god.

2007-07-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

The reality of my undone History of Graphic Design (which I shall refer to as HisGD hereafter) journal has just hit me, and I am not really panicking YET, but there is a rising sense of urgency. I am in a good mood today because I bought new shampoo (no more budget economy size nonsense), plus conditioner plus moisturiser for my long-suffering skin! Suddenly life seems so happy and cheerful.

So I cheonged and found pictures with descriptions so all I have left to do at home is print them out and paste them in my journal! Fantastic. And submission's on Friday, after which there will be no more HisGD and I can finally focus on Drawing Essentials. I swear, I am SO lagging behind in Drawing Essentials I scare myself.

I have work today! I miss store.

Reached home at midnight yesterday, went online for awhile, then I couldn't take it and slept all the way till 7.30. Which means I overslept. So here I am at the Mac lab blogging while the class is having their so-called lecture next door. Nyahaha.

Went back to Anderson Sec yesterday, to accompany Shikin to collect her O-Level cert. As sad as this is, I don't feel ANYTHING for Anderson anymore. I didn't even feel the slightest bit nostalgic or whatever yesterday. Maybe it was because the school seemed dead when we came. And it was just the two of us, not the whole bunch, so yeah. I did feel abit scared for myself due to the possibility of bumping into the Stalker (remember the deranged pschopathic mat who chased me around while screaming expletives at me for no fucking reason?) but THANKGOD he wasn't there. Maybe he was getting raped by a goat somewhere.

Then we went to town, with Shikin in her most lepak outfit HAHAHA kay sorry babe, to meet up with Amin. We were supposed to eat at Sakae (!!!) but since Fadzil was working, Sakae was cancelled. Boo. We ate at Resto Surabaya at Lucky Plaza. I didn't know any other eating places existed in Lucky Plaza other than Macs and the ayam penyet place outside the pool place haha!

And thanks to Amin for introducing us to the place because the beef rocked balls. Seriously. Even the kangkong tasted different, in a good way. We got stuffed (except for Amin anyway), then headed to Cineleisure, met up with Zaini with the intention of watching Die Hard 4.0 (cue eye rolling) or Transformers (I HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS OKAY) but when we wanted to queue for tickets, all the earlier shows were sold out. Nabeh teng teng.

Sooooo we accompanied Zaini for dinner. Walked to this cute little place called Warong M. Nasir (don't ask me about the namesake, I have no idea) at the Killiney Kopitiam stretch behind Orchard Point and, uh, watched Zaini eat and Amin throwing bottle caps around. The food looked so nice but I was still stuffed, so maybe next time.

Oh, saw this hot skater with a bigass tattoo on his upper right torso. So hot. But I'm not feeling skaters (because most of them ahem cough cannot make cough it ahem ahem), so never mind.

Then we went store! I think (I think?) I've grown attached to store. If One Fullerton were to ever close down, (TOUCH ALOT OF WOOD), I will cry. It can't close down, it's like Tourist Central. The Merlion's there! Okay. Trying to reassure myself.

Zul Bukitku cut his hair. He is the cutest little thing (sounds wrong considering he's a year older than me hahah) on earth. Haha. Too bad yesterday was his last day. Boohoo. BUT but but he's always welcome at OF because we love him. Compared to... Um yah. You better visit okay, if not Shikin will come looking for you with a gun at RC.

Shit. I need to shit. K bye.

2007-07-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm having a badass headache. I think I'm dehydrated. Eating too much, but not drinking enough water. Ho hum.

Feeling fat today.

I need to exercise! I am so unfit. I bet if you make me run 400m I will just die. I used to have a fitness regime which consisted of situps and squats and God knows what else, a non-existent diet, and both have gone flying out of the window. I feel like taking up yoga. I've read so much on its benefits (especially the weight loss part) it sounds almost too good to be true. Or, I should get a gym membership. I'm not so much of a gym rat but since I actually have to fork out money, it's enough of an incentive to frequent the gym I think.

And no, I haven't finished my 50 drawings.

Why are some people so hard to get over?

I need a distraction, but distractions are not coming! Okay, maybe there's one every Saturday, but once a week isn't enough. Hrmmms.

2007-07-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

I purposedly accidentally woke up an hour late today so I can miss the fugboring monstrosity that is History of Graphic Design. I swear, I am becoming so freaking slack these days (not my fault, I am very tired) I better be careful and not plunge into the endless abyss of slackerdom. I have shitloads of Drawing Essential assignments to do, so I'm plainly committing suicide by working today. Not to mention the godforsaken HisGD Journal (which is utter nonsense) which I haven't embarked upon yet (and it's supposed to be a daily affair), so, yeah.

Insufficient rest does fucked-up things to your voice.

My Dad scares me more than walking home alone at midnight. o.O

Payday coming! Do you know how much that means to me? Alot. Yeah. I know it means alot to those whom I owe in terms of monetary value also. Haha.

The condition of my nails is seriously deteriorating. They're brittle and peeling! Disgusting!

Wow that was profound.

....

That was two days ago. I guess I type really aimlessly when I'm bored.

2007-07-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

I was sooooooo tempted to fuck school and sleep in today but I guess my conscience got the better of me and here I am, typing this very post, in school. It's Youth Day for everybody else, but for some tragic reason, not for poly people. So we're not youths huh huh huh???

Friday was Speech Day for my beloved (ACK!) ex-secondary school, and I went SOLELY for the sake of seeing my friends, some I see frequently, some I see not-so-frequently, and some I haven't seen since O-Level results. And also see how certain teachers are doing. Certain ah.

It was... nothing to scream about as usual, Speech Day is a heck of a crappy event we all know that. But it was great seeing everybody together again. It brought a nice warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. Hahaha okay syaf stop it now. I'm sorry, I slept in the bus on the way here and now I'm feeling all drowzy and nonsensical. Aiming to get as much sleep as possible because I'm working today and tomorrow night, after which I'm going to be burnt.

Attached to Great World City yesterday. It was tiring because of the constant flow of customers, unlike OF, and I was tired just standing at register and taking orders. And the stupid blenders! The thing about the blenders is that you press the button, and it takes approximately three seconds before they start blending. I didn't know that, duh, so I thought I didn't press the button properly or place the pitcher properly. So I flipped up the cover and raised the pitcher to re-position it and the damn thing started blending there and then and I was damn freaked out can!

Also, they had little fans placed at the bar because it was quite warm, and I was looking for the green tea powder container. Then I found it, and in my elation, I neglected to notice a fan placed right above the container. So yeah. I scooped up the powder and I got assaulted by a mist of green tea powder in my face. Doesn't help that I hate green tea either. Especially the green tea powder at Starbucks. Bahh.

Anyhoo, I'm being attached to Bugis Village tomorrow, and I can bet the Frapp station will be damn busy. I hope I get register again.

OKay class starting, turrah!

2007-07-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

Am very tired now.

Yesterday something really freaky happened! And I don't really want it to happen but it happened! Haha. Hai. Why do you have to test me so?

But thanks to Syafs, retail therapy helped. Love you!

I think that's all for now. I just only wish there's no school tomorrow.

2007-06-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today did not get off to a good start. I had a nightmare in which I was working, and I had ten angry customers scolding me because I basically kept screwing up. Scary.

Then I got pissed off, not at anybody in particular, but because when I woke up this morning, the roast chicken sandwich and monster cookie I brought home from closing yesterday and which I was SO SO SO looking forward to devouring WERE FREAKING GONE. Why? The other children took it because my mum happily let them do so. LIKE WTF man.

For once I get these two items marked out and I wake up to find them GONE!!! Do you know how frustrating that is??? I made abit of noise and you know what my mum said? "Next time don't bring home lah." Bring home wrong, never bring home also wrong. My god. I really should take her advice. Next time I won't be so kind as to lug home treats for the whole family, but only for myself. See, this is the damn reason why it's so difficult to be nice. She could have asked me right, which ones I want for myself, and let the kids take the rest, but NOOOOO.

And the brothers also, never spare a thought for me. I bring home stuff for them, and they can actually ask me, "Oreo cheesecake don't have ah? This one don't have ah? That one don't have ah? Eh I want that I want this! " MY GOD LAH. ORANG DAH BAWAK BALIK CEKIK JE LAH SAMDOL.

So yes, this is it. I shall only bring home things for myself, no matter how mean that may sound.

But obviously eventually I will start bringing more home because I cannot stand seeing food being thrown away, so I'd rather bring them home and give them to ingrates.

Sigh.

I was so pissed I actually got a headache. Haha.

Anyway, I haven't been getting enough sleep for the past few days.
Production Crew camp was fun as hell.
Rock for Wayne was fucking awesome.
Work the morning after was quite alright because Boss was in a good mood.

So it's all good.

Well, except for this morning anyway. Already smsed my mum to keep the remaining food for me, and she hasn't replied so yeah. *takes deep breath*

Shall elaborate on the abovementioned events later since I'm in school now. Ta!

2007-06-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

Can somebody rich bring me to Krabi or Honolulu or some secluded island in the Mediterranean where all I'll be doing is eat shrimp salad and drink cocktails and watch sunsets? Please?

Where can I find a nice, decent-looking, honest and sincere guy? Now that's a question to twist your brain over.

Why is it that I feel very tired when it's not like I went rock-climbing or marathon-ing for the past few days?

Why all the questions woman. Stop it lah, stop it.

You know what, I just realised I've been single for exactly 5 months now.

Anyway, I'm too tired to blog so I will... blog another time! Goodnight everybody.

2007-06-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

Can somebody smack me please?

I thought school starts this coming week, BUT IT'S NOT!
Yes, Miss Blur Like Sotong here didn't check her academic calendar and for some godforsaken reason, assumed this week is her last week of holidays la la la la la...

So yeah, school starts on the 25th of June. I just cheated myself of my feelings LOL.

Anyhoo, store outing was a blast!

Went to East Coast, walked about a gazillion miles to the hawker center, squeezed at a not-so-big table and stuffed ourselves with rice, vegetables and seafood (stingray and sotong!!! YUMZA). And then laughed ourselves silly by telling STUPIDass jokes and playing STUPIDER games.

I swear, that night, I was THIS close to having a six-pack due to laughing so much.

I AM NOT SUCKING ANYBODY'S DICK UNDERSTAND!!!

Ahem.

Almost got into trouble because I reached home at midnight. ALMOST.

I think my Dad's getting sick of not having control of my curfews anymore. Okay, I don't think, I know. But hey, he'll have to get used to it.

I watched Fantastic Four with Kin, Yana and Izzy yesterday. I LOVED IT.
Especially the parts with the Silver Surfer. Omgosh, even though he's silver all over, he's still DAMN HOT. Like DAMN DAMN DAMN hot. Woooh.

The movie was funny and entertaining, and definitely worth waking up at 8 in the morning for. I can't do like, a whole insightful review because I'm not a big comic buff, but I guess I'm starting to appreciate comics now. I used to have stacks of them, but I was too young to appreciate their value, and SADLY ENOUGH my Dad threw them all away lah like what the hell!

GRRR. They could have been worth something you know.

OKAY. I'm too lazy to type. So this will be the end of my post today. Turrah!

2007-06-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

Tag replies!

YANA: I lazy to link people lah. If you noticed, my blog has no links whatsoever. Haha and yah I like orange too woowaawee!

han: Yeah, I cheered up already. Thankyou lah.

zahd: Ahahahaha okay! Eh I haven't seen you in ages lah. Tsk. The 4/3 gathering better happen.

kin: Mother! So what's heavier than wanton mee? LMAO stupid hadi.

atiqah: WOOHHH you're back! Awww thanks babe, love you many many too!

Store outing today! But it's raining here. Why can't it rain cash or cheesecakes? I swear I will have fits or something because I'll be so damn delighted. And my hair is too fluffy. Stupid budget shampoo. I need my Sunsilk.

Wahh the rain damn heavy can.

School's starting next week. It feels so weird talking about school again, after working for the past two and a half weeks. I like work, and there's this dangerous feeling of not looking forward to school, just working my life away... Making coffee.. Talking to random customers.. Eating chicken puffs.. Drinking Cookies and Cream (it's not on the menu nyahahaha thanks hadi! my new favourite drink, I swear I'm addicted to it)..

BUT I like school more, duh. I miss my classmates.

I still have difficulties merging work and school in one life. School on its own is crazy and tiring, work is even crazier and exhausting, I can't imagine putting them together. But I'll never know if I don't try. OKAY I CAN DO IT WOOHOO.

" Asal dari belakang kau lawa ah? "

THANKS AH IZZY.

But I have to say that's a new one.

I hope I don't get sent for attachments. Not yet, anyway. Especially to a store which uses La Marzocco, I'll probably freak out and have spasms on the floor or something. You can do it Kinneh! She's going Starbucks e-Life on Saturday. Nyahahahaha.

Am off to figure out what to wear. Sheesh I'm such a goddamn vainpot.

' why does it always rain on me?
is it because I lied when I was seventeen? '